 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Technology Partner
Community Partners |
A Bunch of Fives So when all is said and done we translate the number of times a ball has landed in the back of a net, past and present, and somehow work out why it was so obviously going to be so and what will happen in the future!! That’s the unenviable task of our resident expert Professor Statto, Nobel Prize Winner in waiting, who’s been explaining the meaning of football life and giving comfort to his followers for years.  He’ll tell you why your predictions were bound to be wrong. He’ll tell you about the most outrageous possibilities to come. He’ll tell you…But whatever he says remember: “98% of all statistics are made up.” ~Author Unknown Professor Statto and his amazing statistics. ====================================== Previous analysis Week 11 - 12.... Week 10.... Week 9.... Week 8.... Week 7A shortage of droppers and Top of the Choppers!! Good day, All, Whatever it is that motivates players and their managers, there was buckets of it sloshing around in the lower reaches of the Prem last week with the bottom position changing hands four times as the cellar-dwellers frantically clambered over each other to stay away from the chasm that has the division currently known as The Championship at the foot of it. By Monday morning, West Brom had gained, if that’s the right word, temporary possession, but there’s now such a log jam at the bottom that today’s 20th could be next Saturday’s 13th if results take a capricious turn. As WBA are playing Chelsea, it would have to be a mega-monster caprice, but I’m sure Mr. Mowbray and his boys are dreaming. We spectators are thus denied conversations about “Who’s for the drop along with X?”, at least for a while. We’re now short of a Derby impersonator. Just when the Spurs goose was looking like an oven-candidate, along comes (the lucky, by his own admission) Mr. Redknapp, and a month later, the old bird is flapping away noisily in 16th spot. Like a doctor checking over a patient, I’ve been perusing the Prem’s vital signs, or at least, those that are of special interest to you Score Fivers. In our case, it’s not pulse, blood pressure and respiration that are the key factors – though I’m sure all were elevated by last weekend’s set-to at the Emirates – but goals, their H/A split and the Home/Draw/Away win percentage. Goals first: we’re still on track to continue last season’s upward momentum. In 119 games, the old onion bag has bulged 261 times, at an average of 2.72 per game (2007/08 = 2.64), so we’re heading for a total of 1034 (2007/08 = 1002). Who’s scoring them? Away teams are keeping up their new-found momentum. The Home/Away split is 1.45 v 1.27 (2007/08 = 1.53 v 1.11) That Away improvement is reflected in the Home/Draw/Away win percentage. The Aways have slipped a touch from the bizarre heights of 39% a month back, but they’re still impressive.
So, as you head off to make your predictions, ask yourself this: which 3½ Away teams do I fancy for a win this week? Sometimes, statistics are just plain cruel. A Dirty Story (Part 2) So, friends, just as one would wish to see the last pandas in the wild or witness one of those elusive snow-leopards, I urge you to watch – in the flesh, if possible – the players who still think football is a contact sport - men who and play by a different set of rules – the old rules that allowed physical confrontation, before they were changed in...just a moment, they haven’t changed! Strange, that! To help us identify the most prominent of these Neanderthals in 2008/09, as always, we look to the stats. I’m going to exclude here those who manage to get their tackles in without incurring much censure, so Mascherano and Reo-Coker, to name but two, are off the hook. No, we want the real bad lads. This may come as a surprise to some of you…
Not far behind these three come Villa’s John Carew, Vincent Kompany of Man. City and Bobby Zamora of Fulham. Joey Barton? Not yet, give him time… Oops, sorry Joey, no pun intended. Three strikers in the top six then, though I use the term ‘striker’ loosely in the case of two of them. It would be interesting to know if they have always been naturally, er, robust, or if they developed a taste for advance retaliation while going through the Youth ranks with studs being regularly applied to their lower limbs. Lee Cattermole has recently broken into the Wigan starting line-up, but he was careful not to leave fingerprints. He’s clearly intent on letting the rest of the Prem and his manager know he’s here to stay. Of the current lacklustre bunch of candidates, I think he’s the one with the most chance of future entry into the Hardmen Hall Of Fame. Fellaini and Kompany have barely arrived, so it’ll take a while to determine whether their presence among the bad lads is merely initial over-enthusiasm. Kevin Davies, however, does not have that excuse. His is a largely thankless task: to receive balls punted forward and hold them up or lay them off for the onrushing Kevin Nolan to smash over the bar. Not many defenders would recognise Davies: they rarely see his face as he plays with his back to goal. They probably know his elbows though. For four seasons until 2007/08, he was the Prem’s top foul-merchant. Respect! In his defence, I must point out that he also takes his whacks. Right now, he’s No. 2 on the most-fouled list, behind Valon Behrami of West Ham. (Why him?) Amr Zaki’s goals are bringing him some unwanted attention – he’s the No. 3 ‘Most Clogged’. But back to those who dish it out: temporarily at least, Davies has been supplanted by John Carew, who raised eyebrows (as well as bruises) by reaching the hallowed 100-foul mark last season, and he’s making a valiant attempt to defend his title. Fouls aren’t everything: if we were to use Yellow Cards as our unit of measure, the reigning champ would be Nicky Butt with the 13 he assiduously compiled last term. Why do some players get them while others are ignored? That cheery chappie Dean Ashton racked up 55 fouls last season, but not a single Yellow – compare that with Fellaini and Cattermole above! So, a Viz-style Top Tip for the pair of them: when assaulting an opponent, do it with a smile – the ref’ll probably forgive you for it. Just as some animals hunt in packs, some teams put the boot in en masse. The men from Ewood are known in some quarters as Blackeye Rovers. Their 583 fouls in 2007/08 put all other contenders in the shade. Mind you, they did get a good kicking in return – 535 to be precise, which was only one less than the most-bullied team, Spurs. The individual who took most punishment was not a Portuguese bloke, but David Bentley, who sustained 90 fouls (at Blackburn), before leaving for gentler surroundings. I wonder if his old mates will go easy on him when they meet? We’ll soon know: Rovers visit White Hart Lane on Nov. 23. Once again, they’ve got their noses (or should that be studs?) in front in the Foul Stakes, and are on target to exceed last season’s tally - 189 after 12 games suggests 600 or thereabouts come the end of May. We regularly heard Mark Hughes defending his men last season, saying refs targeted Rovers unfairly due to their reputation as hard men. It would appear the refs have now found a new team to pick on. Stoke get more Yellows per foul than any other team, though they’re only 8th in the Foul League. Well, their Back Eight are, in the main, big ugly bruisers, and some of them are unwise enough to say publicly that they’re going to adopt a physical approach against the Arsenals of this world. You can envisage certain card-happy refs sharpening their pencils when they hear that stuff. Ye Olde Self-Fulfilling Prophecye, I think it’s called. Finally, let’s join messrs. Carew and Davies in wishing a speedy recovery to someone who’s been missing from refs notebooks for a while – Alan Smith. In terms of disciplinary points picked up per minute on the pitch, he was ahead of both of them last season. If he ever gets fit and back to his usual narky self, there’s a chance that the era of the occasional Two-Footed, Studs-Up, Elbow-In-The-Eye challenge could yet be prolonged. At least he’d give the others a chance to escape the spotlight for a while. Top players Till next week, friends… Regards, |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
About |
Advertise |
FAQ |
Rules |
Help |
Terms |
Privacy
© 2008-2009 Score Five |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
RSS Feed
Calendar
