So when all is said and done we translate the number of times a ball has landed in the back of a net, past and present, and somehow work out why it was so obviously going to be so and what will happen in the future!! That’s the unenviable task of our resident expert Professor Statto, Nobel Prize Winner in waiting, who’s been explaining the meaning of football life and giving comfort to his followers for years.
He’ll tell you why your predictions were bound to be wrong. He’ll tell you about the most outrageous possibilities to come. He’ll tell you…But whatever he says remember:
“98% of all statistics are made up.” ~Author Unknown
Professor Statto and his amazing statistics.
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Previous analysis
Week 17.... Week 16.... Week 15.... Week 14.... Week 13.... Week 11 - 12
Hello again, Pals
For the second time this season, we have two Prem clubs in search of a manager. Curious isn’t it? The Board of Directors at Anytown Utd never fires the clods who fail to do the business on the pitch, it’s always the manager who’s to blame. Who appointed the manager? They did! Do they resign? Never. In the autobiography of the great Len Shackleton of Sunderland (way before our time) there is a chapter entitled What The Average Director Knows About Football. It is a blank page. ’Nuff said.
While studying the Premier League table this week, it occurred to me that it currently has more than it’s normal share of oddities and conflicting details:
- Home games played by the Big Four, 33. Home games won by Big Four, 19 = 57.5%
- Chelsea: 9th best home record.…behind Stoke and Fulham among others.
- Five of the top seven teams have better Away records than Home. Exceptions: Man. U and Arsenal
- Worst ground for entertainment value, goalswise: White Hart Lane P9 F7 A7 = 1.55 goals per game
- Worst team for entertainment value, goalswise: Fulham, P16 F13 A12, = 1.56 goals per game
- Best team for entertainment value, Man. City, P17 F30 A25 = 3.24 goals per game.
- Fulham are 10th, Man. City are 17th. Clearly, entertainment is bad for your prospects….
- Newcastle are the draw Kings, with seven from their 17 games.
- Man City have the second-best home goal difference (F19 A10) after Man Utd (F19 A4)
- Man. City have the 10th best Home record W4 D0 L5.
- Everton: Home record, six points. 2nd worst. Away record, 19 points, 3rd best.
There may be some logic in all that. If so, kindly point it out to me.
A warning to Those Who Know Better
There are households where more than one occupant is a ScoreFiver. When one of the competitors is supposedly more knowledgeable, it can result in a fractious environment as He (it’s always a he) attempts to influence the Other at Prediction time…. “You can expect Liverpool to win at home, with a clean sheet. Chelsea too.” “Newcastle? They’re rubbish away” “No, Man. U. always beat Tottenham, have done for years – haven’t you read Magic Mike’s tips? Why not? Or Lawro’s? You see? That’s why you never do as well as you could”. He then wanders away, wondering why some people refuse to listen to good advice.
Once in a while – this week for example – circumstances combine to make His statements inoperative, as ex-President Nixon so inelegantly phrased it. His superiority is undermined as He finds himself on Monday morning in the metaphorical ScoreFive doghouse with less than half a dozen points; to make natters worse, he has Magic Mike for company. The Other, meanwhile, has somehow collected a comfortable 14 points, including a Perfect 5 for that daft forecast of a 2-2 at Anfield. In the immortal words of Homer S., DOH!
Top Players
For the second time in a month, not one of the Big Four managed a win. As if that wasn’t enough to sabotage most players predictions, several hitherto comatose sides suddenly woke up and started banging in goals – and as some managerial sage once observed, while you’re in their penalty area, they aren’t in yours, thus we had the unusual combination of Sunderland, Newcastle and Wigan accumulating 10 goals without conceding a single one! The consequence of all this was to make a score of 15 or above rather good, and 20 outstanding.
At the top of the Global Leaderboard, Antomeno was the biggest gainer, (in the week when he also posted the top Bundesliga score of the season): he makes it a Gunners 1-2 at the top, joining Patrick Ho in the 300 Club. We had a key move in the Battle of the Tipsters, with Lawro taking advantage of Magic Mike’s travails to go above him for the first time this season. After searching the records, I can confirm that NW2425 is the first car to reach the Top 20. Here are our Wizards Of The Week:
| Name |
League |
Supports |
Points |
| Alessandro Costacutta |
AMNAS1 |
Luton |
21 |
| Antomeno |
Arsenal GS |
Arsenal |
20 |
| HaiCheung |
Arsenal GS |
Arsenal |
20 |
| Spartakus |
AMNAS1 |
Chelsea |
18 |
| Big Phil's Army |
Pearly |
Chelsea |
18 |
| Doni Alfuazi |
Liverpool GS |
Liverpool |
17 |
| NW2425 |
FSF |
Leeds |
17 |
Average scores update
Over the Christmas period, we reach the midpoint of the Premier League season. As most of you will be busy with other matters then, I’ll take this opportunity to draw your attention to the goalscoring averages of all the Prem teams after 17 games. I trust it will be of some help to you when it comes to Prediction Time.
| |
Home |
Home |
|
Away |
Away |
| Team |
For |
Against |
|
For |
Against
|
| Arsenal |
1.87 |
1.25 |
|
1.55 |
1.11 |
| Aston Villa |
1.55 |
1.00 |
|
1.87 |
1.37
|
| Blackburn |
0.62 |
1.87 |
|
1.33 |
2.11 |
| Bolton |
0.75 |
1.12 |
|
1.55 |
1.55 |
| Chelsea |
1.66 |
0.66 |
|
2.62 |
0.12 |
| Everton |
1.12 |
1.87 |
|
1.55 |
1.11 |
| Fulham |
1.37 |
0.75 |
|
0.25 |
0.75 |
| Hull City |
1.12 |
1.87 |
|
1.88 |
1.33 |
| Liverpool |
1.44 |
0.66 |
|
1.62 |
0.62 |
| Man City |
2.11 |
1.11 |
|
1.37 |
1.87 |
| Man Utd |
2.71 |
0.57 |
|
0.88 |
0.66 |
| Middlesborough |
1.00 |
1.44 |
|
1.00 |
1.37 |
| Newcastle |
1.62 |
1.37 |
|
1.00 |
1.44 |
| Portsmouth |
1.44 |
1.44 |
|
0.75 |
1.62 |
| Stoke City |
1.33 |
1.11 |
|
0.62 |
2.12 |
| Sunderland |
1.22 |
1.44 |
|
0.75 |
1.50 |
| Tottenham |
0.77 |
0.77 |
|
1.50 |
1.75 |
| West Brom |
1.12 |
1.87 |
|
0.33 |
1.88 |
| West Ham |
1.37 |
1.62 |
|
0.77 |
1.33 |
| Wigan Athletic |
1.00 |
1.00 |
|
1.50 |
1.37 |
Born winners?
Last week, I showed you how there is a preponderance of footballers birthdays in the latter part of the year. If, after taking into account form, fitness, injuries, tactics, suspensions and transfers, we were unable to separate title favourites Man. Utd and Chelsea, we might just seek guidance from their squads birthdates. If Oct. 1 is the ‘ideal’, for what it’s worth, (not much I suspect), Man U’s squad were born an average 14.3 days closer to it. Next week: what the tea leaves say.
Good luck for the weekend, all.
Regards,
Prof. Statto
Technology Partner
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