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A Bunch of Fives So when all is said and done we translate the number of times a ball has landed in the back of a net, past and present, and somehow work out why it was so obviously going to be so and what will happen in the future!! That’s the unenviable task of our resident expert Professor Statto, Nobel Prize Winner in waiting, who’s been explaining the meaning of football life and giving comfort to his followers for years.  He’ll tell you why your predictions were bound to be wrong. He’ll tell you about the most outrageous possibilities to come. He’ll tell you…But whatever he says remember: “98% of all statistics are made up.” ~Author Unknown Professor Statto and his amazing statistics. ====================================== Previous analysis Week 28.... Week 27.... FA Cup Round 5.... Weeks 25.... Weeks 23/24.... FA Cup Round 4Why Are All the World's Bees Dying? Hello again, pals, There are 101 Premier League games still to play, but most seasoned observers agree that a win for Man. Utd against Liverpool this Saturday will mean that the Premier League champions shield will be staying where it is. For all except die-hard Liverpool and Chelsea fans, the discussion is starting to shift elsewhere, e.g. where did I put my car keys, and why are all the world’s bees dying? Only five games at most remain in the FA Cup, but we’re still 11 weeks away from knowing who the winners will be, though the odds on it being one of the Champions League qualifiers have shortened considerably. Lightning dutifully failed to strike twice, and Burnley’s excellent run in this season’s Cups came to an end at the Emirates on Sunday as Arsenal booked their place in the remaining Sixth Round tie. With no surprises at Coventry, Fulham or Everton, only Hull now stand in the way of a European contenders Cup monopoly and a North/South final. Top Players - Cup Top Players - League A strong Tuesday night showing saw Guardian aficionado Lano23 edge ahead of Antomeno, our table-topper since December, who dropped to third place behind Gilberto’s Goldmine, another whose recent form has been remarkable. Twenty four hours later, the situation had changed again, with Simoscy joining Lano on 524, powered by 16 Wednesday-night points. When the Sunderland-Spurs score came in, Lano was back in front as the only one of the four who went for the 1-1 draw. Nick1 is loitering with intent in fifth, but there’s a yawning 15 point gap between him and a logjam around the 500-mark. Going into Wednesday night’s game, Go Behind Seagulls in 16th place could have risen as high as 7th if the Fulham/Blackburn result went their way. It was a real ‘fill-yer-boots’ week, with plenty of Perfect 5’s. Anyone who didn’t end up with 20 pts has reason to feel a bit miffed. It’s a tough qualifying mark of 27 pts for entry into this week’s winners enclosure:
Going up, going down
What contrasting fortunes for Patrick Ho and Andeebuboy, one down 42 places, the other up by 47! In addition to Andee, there are five other new arrivals (denoted by *) in the Top 20 since Dec 26. Another dozen players have been in and out again, with most still hovering on the fringes. At this moment, there are 10 players within a Perfect 5 of that elite group including Graeme D, Gareth, Fungus, Damo, Cockney BJ and Kojja: they’re all planning on getting back there soon. I notice that Mike is taking the current goal famine to heart: he predicted a statistically extreme 13 goals for those midweek games. This week, he’s again tending towards the low side with 16 goals. The season low, for those who are interested, is 15 in Round 14, Nov 22-24. Only a four-timer by Spurs dragged last week’s total up to 20, which continued the reduction in the average goals-per-game. That four, by the way, was only the second time a team has exceeded three in eight rounds since the turn of the year. In the first 20 rounds, we had 20 scores of four or more. Not so home-sweet-home
Obeying the Law Of Averages
“You’ll never win anything with kids” Completing the line-up were a further 17 sides representing Latvia, Turkey, Austria, more Germans and lots of locals. Having the top team in England, they wondered what the standard was like at the bottom of the English pyramid, so they invited the boys of Div. 2 cellar dwellers, Luton Town, who decided to send a couple of their Under-10s along as well – kids who weren’t born when we were raving about ‘young’ Michael Owen at France ’98! As most kids haven’t yet encountered the phrases ‘fixture congestion’ or ‘premature burnout’, the teams were happy to play a schedule that required the finalists to get through 13 games in two days. (Four games in nine days, Harry? Where’s the problem?) Bayern finished top of their qualifying group with Luton as surprising runners-up. In the best UEFA tradition, the kids then had to slog through another qualifying group, where Luton saw off the Brazilians, Sachsen Leipzig and CSKA. In the knockout stages, they eliminated Werder Bremen 3-0 before squeezing past Zenit in the Semifinal on the golden goal rule. Over 3,000 witnessed the Final, whose stars were the Da Silva brothers: more of Fergie’s fledgling Brazilians? Nope, these were Luton’s Cole and Jay Da Silva, who shared the goals that defeated Bayern in a 3-2 come-from-behind victory, the last goal hitting the net with four seconds left on the clock. The kids are now back in Luton, apparently unscathed despite a face-to-face encounter with Sepp Blatter, and in possession of a trophy that, at 137cm, is as tall as some of them! Man. Utd? They didn’t even make the Quarterfinals. Good news for the rest of the Prem, circa 2019. I’m sure Luton manager Mick Harford will be keeping tabs on the best of those youngsters and trying to shepherd them through the schoolboy and youth ranks towards professional life at Kenilworth Rd. With Luton on their way to the Conference, he’s going to need some new blood (assuming he’s still around) to help with their forthcoming campaign to regain League status. Until next week, pals, look after yourselves. Regards, |
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