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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Round 2.... Round 1

Five Spices - Round 3

Russia 2 – 0 Sweden

The Russians, bolstered by the return of the superb Andrei Arshavin, put in easily their best performance of the tournament to eliminate Sweden.

The new-look Russia came out all guns blazing, their pace and movement too much for an aging and creaky Swedish side, and they took a thoroughly deserved lead on twenty-four minutes. Arshavin’s perfectly-weighted ball found Konstantin Zyryanov down the right, who squared for raiding full-back Aleksandr Anyukov who in turn teed up Roman Pavlyuchenko to sweep the ball past Andreas Isaksson into the far corner to finish off a fantastic move.

The Swedes briefly flickered in response, with the dusted-off Henrik Larsson unlucky to hit the bar with a clever header, but the Russians continued to dominate and Pavlyuchenko beat Isaksson all ends up with a powerful drive that crashed back off the bar, the rebound almost nodded in by Zyryanov only for the Swedish keeper to recover well and claw it away.

It was only a matter of time, though, and Russia went further ahead five minutes into the second half. Another sweeping move began with Arshavin laying the ball off at the half-way line before surging into the box to meet Yuri Zhirkov's return pass and steer it into the bottom right corner. Simply fantastic stuff.

Sweden continued to make a game of it but as they were forced to commit more men forward, the Russians came back at them with lightning counter-attacks similar to those we’ve seen from Holland this tournament. Unlike the Dutch, however, their finishing remains less-than clinical and chances went begging for Zyryanov, the otherwise impeccable Pavlyuchenko and man-of-the-match Arshavin that would otherwise have had the Swedes on the wrong end of a serious caning.

Russia, then, go on to meet Holland in what now promises to be a right old barnstormer of a quarter final on Saturday.

Greece 1 – 2 Spain

The defending champions return home without a point as Spain’s B-side make it three wins out of three for the serial underachievers.

With Luis Aragones taking the opportunity to rest ten players and nothing but pride hanging on the result, adrenaline was in short supply. Xabi Alonso almost added another long-range effort to his portfolio only to narrowly miss the top corner from inside his own half but, an Andres Iniesta dive in the box and a historic sixth EC yellow card for Giorgos Karagounis aside, it had been a subdued half until just before the break.

Rolling back the years to 2004, Angelos Charisteas rose to thump Karagounis’s free-kick past Pepe Reina and see Greece go into the interval with a scarcely-deserved lead.

Spain showed a little more desire at the start of the second half and was finally rewarded when Ruben de la Red smashed in a venomous volley off the underside of the bar from Daniel “Diamond” Guiza’s long nod back. Antonis Nikopolidis just about got a hand to it but there was no way he was going to stop it.

Charisteas almost restored Greece’s lead but could only hit the outside of the post from a tight angle after rounding Reina. The game was finally won for Spain in the closing minutes when Guiza headed home Sergio Garcia’s cross from close in.

Spain now plays Italy on Sunday in what should be an intriguing match.

France 0 – 2 Italy

The World Cup holders progress at the expense of the runners-up.

Nothing went right on the night for the French, with their only player to have in any way impressed this tournament, Munster's pin-up Franck Ribery, lasting only seven minutes before being stretchered off after a challenge with Gianluca Zambrotta.

Barely a quarter of an hour later, things got worse, when Eric Abidal saw red when bringing down Luca Toni in the box after being caught ball-watching. Considering Toni’s abysmal form in front of goal right now, he’d have been better off just letting the lumbering galoot thump an effort against the corner flag again but, instead, took a couple of digs when he had absolutely no hope of getting the ball. Andrea Pirlo smashed the resulting penalty confidently into the top left corner and Jean-Alain Boumsong took the pitch as France’s evening seemingly reached its nadir … though appearances were to prove deceptive.

With Toni contriving to make even Mario Gomez look half-decent, the French were let off the hook time and time again and must still have had hopes of getting back into the game when they conceded a free-kick some thirty yards from their own goal. Daniele De Rossi’s free-kick was driven low and straight at Thierry Henry in the French wall who, rather than welly it away like a pro, half-heartedly flicked his foot at the ball, deflecting it past the committed Gregory Coupet. The true nadir had been reached.

Late on, Karim Benzema provided Gianluigi Buffon with a chance to show he’s still a top keeper, with a clawing save from the striker’s curling effort but, really, that’s about as much as France offered and they rightly go home.

Netherlands 2 – 0 Romania

Despite Italy’s fears of being handed the big biscuit, the Dutch keep the koektrommel closed and send Romania home.

The Romanians, knowing a win would send them through, were nonetheless strangely subdued and largely bereft of ideas, rarely threatening Maarten Stekelenberg’s goal.

Marco van Basten had made nine changes to the side that had beaten the French but the second string were rarely under pressure and able to coast pretty comfortably through the first half. Paul Codrea should have done better than send the Percy Dalton’s vendor sprawling in row Q from Razvan Rat’s pull back, shortly after the restart but that was about it from the Romanians.

On fifty-four minutes, Klass-Jan Huntelaar opened his tournament account when converting Ibrahim Afellay's low cross from the right. Three minutes from the end, Robin van Persie smashed home from six yards to make the game safe and ensure the Dutch maintain their 100% record going into the quarterfinals.

For Romania, there’s only the regret at what might have been had Adrian Mutu converted that penalty against the Italians.

Austria 0 – 1 Germany

The second co-hosts are out after a pretty drab game in Vienna.

Perhaps this match would have panned out differently had the awful Mario Gomez been able to find the net from two yards out (twice) within the first ten minutes but, then again, probably not. As it was, Michael Ballack’s thunderous free-kick, four minutes after the re-start, was enough to decide it.

The free kick itself had been won by the marauding Phillip Lahm, once again one of the Germans’ most consistent threats, though the early tournament favourites made hard work of this one and will need to step up several gears if they’re to see off the Portuguese in the next round. Though the margin of victory may have been greater – there were late chances for Frings and Klose but no cigars were won – it would not have been a fair reflection on the game had it been.

For the Austrians, the game reflected their tournament in microcosm. It has been impossible to criticize their will or endeavour, but they simply miss enough quality, especially in the final third, to truly compete at this level. Still, despite all the pre-tournament wringing of hands, they haven’t disgraced themselves and can bow out with heads held high (somewhat of a contradiction, I know, but it’s a fine old trick if you can manage it).

Poland 0 – 1 Croatia

A second-string Croatian side still proved too strong for the Poles.

With qualification already in the bag, Croatian coach Slaven Bilic made nine changes to the side that had beaten Germany and the team underlined its strength in depth with a fine performance that maintains their 100% record in the tournament.

There were early chances for Poland, with Wojciech Lobodzinski forcing a hurried save from Vedran Runje and Dariusz Dudka heading wide when he should have done better but, having weathered the early storm, the Croats settled down and started to take control.

Artur Boruc was once again in fine form and needed to be, denying Ivan Klasnic, Danijel Pranjic and Ivan Rakitic before the break. There was nothing he could do to stop Klasnic’s fine finish seven minutes after the restart though, the Croatian striker driving home left-footed from Pranjic’s pull back after referee Kyros Vassaras had allowed advantage to be played when Klasnic was initially blocked on the edge of the box.

Poland never gave up and created several chances to draw level, with Roger Guerreiro, Marek Saganowski, Ebi Smolarek and, especially, Thomasz Zahorski all going close but go home winless after what’s been a frustrating tournament for them.

Croatia now progress to play the indestructible Turks in what should be an intriguing quarter final on Friday.

Turkey 3 – 2 Czech Republic

Drama, drama, drama as Turkey comes from behind to eliminate the Czech Republic.

The Czechs started the stronger, as the Turks again struggled to find any invention, and took the lead just after the half-four mark when the fired-up Jan Koller got up to hammer a great header into the top corner from Zdenik Grygera’s right wing cross.

Turkey needed to improve after the break and duly did so, at last finding some penetration down the flanks, but were to be hit on the counter, as so many sides before them this tournament. With Emre Gungor stretchered off and his replacement, Emre Asik, still waiting to come on, the Czechs broke down the right with Libor Sionko, who’s deep cross to the far post was poked home by Jaroslav Plasil.

Shortly after, they could have been three up when Jan Polak hit the post and was then felled by a kick to the head from Asik that should probably have seen the ref blow up for dangerous play. Needless to say, he didn’t.

What is admirable about this Turkish side, though, is they simply don’t know when they’re beaten and they came roaring back once again, getting their reward when Arda Turan finished first-time from Hamit Altintop’s cross.

It was now all Turkey but they looked to have lost their best chance at grabbing a draw when Servet Cetin headed wide with a free header at the far post. That would have been to discount the sometimes outrageous fortunes of football, though, and with just three minutes to go, everything changed.

There looked little danger as Petr Cech, who’s handling had been exemplary all night, went up to pluck another Hamit cross out of the air but the big keeper inexplicably fumbled his catch and the ball fell invitingly for Nihat Kahveci, who didn’t need asking twice to put the Turks level.

If Cech still harboured hopes of being able to redeem himself, they were dashed just two minutes later when Nihat, springing the offside trap to latch onto Hamit’s through ball, finished sensationally into the top right corner of the goal to send the Turkish fans wild and leave the Czechs shell-shocked in disbelief.

The drama wasn’t completely over, as Turkey’s mountainous keeper Volkan Demirel bowed out of the tournament by shoving over the frail Jan Koller after a mid-air challenge. With all three subs already used, his place was taken between the sticks by Tuncay Sanli, who’d popped up in every outfield position during the game, so obviously fancied getting the full set. I’m sure I wasn’t alone in wanting to see a Czech equalizer place the Boro striker into a penalty shoot-out but he was able to see out the game without being called into action.

It will be Turkey, then, who goes on to meet Croatia in the quarterfinals.

Switzerland 2 – 0 Portugal

In the group’s dead rubber, the Swiss salvage some pride by beating the group winners.

With qualification already in the bag, the Portuguese took the opportunity of resting most of their first-team side and saw the second string go down to defeat at the hands of the co-hosts in what proved to be an entertaining, end-to-end, match.

The Portuguese had the better of the first hour, with Pepe’s flick tipped onto the bar by the veteran Pascal Zuberbuhler and both Helder Postiga and Nani guilty of spurning good chances, whilst Postiga also saw a goal wrongly disallowed for offside, as the linesmen continue to get most of the major decisions wrong.

The Swiss, too, made chances and Ricardo was forced into action to deny Johann Vonlanthen and Gokhan Inler, both from fully thirty yards, and then Hakan Yakin, tipping his bullet header round the post. Inler then hit the outside of the post with another cracking drive from distance.

There was certainly some fire in the game, as well, Paulo Ferreira putting in a shocking tackle on Valon Behrami in retaliation for an elbow in the eye he’d received earlier and being substituted by coach Scolari before the full-back saw red.

The deadlock was finally broken with twenty minutes to go when Yakin got on the end of Eren Derdiyok's clever flick and slotted the ball under the onrushing Ricardo, triggering wild celebrations from the home crowd. When he made it two from the spot some ten minutes later, after Tranquillo Barnetta had been clumsily brought down by Fernando Meira (presumably on his way back to the stiffs), it was all over and the baby-faced Kobi Kuhn could sign off with a win.

Nice for him, nice for the Swiss fans and business resumes for the Portuguese on Thursday against the Germans. Or the Austrians. Or the Poles. But probably the Germans.