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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Round 3.... Round 2.... Round 1

Five Spices 

Quarter Finals - ROUND 4

Spain 0 – 0 Italy (4 – 2 on pens)

Spain beat their hoodoo and progress to the semi finals after a penalty shoot-out.

The watching public had to endure over two hours of this one before Cesc Fabregas mercifully put us out of our misery by slotting home the deciding penalty after Iker Casillas had brilliantly kept out efforts from De Rossi and Di Natale.

There were one or two incidents during the preceding hundred and twenty minutes, most notably a Gianluigi Buffon clanger which was as close to a goal as this game got, but not, in all honesty, anything worth spending too much time recalling, so I won’t.

Spain play Russia in what can only be hoped will be a better game on Thursday.

Netherlands 1- 3 Russia (aet)

Russia turn on the style to upset the odds and eliminate the Dutch.

In a thoroughly absorbing game, the mobility and pace of the Russians forced Holland onto the back foot and prevented them getting into the groove of the fluid style we'd seen from their earlier games. The superb Yuri Zhirkov, in particular, was proving a constant menace down the left side and with Andrei Arshavin once again pulling the strings, the Dutch were reduced to looking at set pieces as their best hope of making a breakthrough, especially with Russian keeper Igor Akinfeev unwilling to leave his line to come for crosses.

From one in-swinging free kick, Ruud van Nistelrooy was just unable to apply the finishing touch at the back post before the Russians responded with a flowing move that saw Roman Pavlyuchenko head over the angle from a Zhirkov cross. Chances continued to come and go but the first half finished deadlocked.

With Dirk Kuyt withdrawn for Robin van Persie at the break and Khalid Boulahrouz replaced by Johnny Heitinga soon after, the Dutch right flank was looking very vulnerable and the unfortunate Andre Ooijer was to spend the rest of the match pretty-much getting his arse handed to him by Zhirkov. When the breakthrough came, it came down that side. Arshavin slipped a peach of a ball through for the over-lapping Sergei Semak and his near post cross was volleyed home confidently by Pavlyuchenko.

The Dutch were now behind for the first time in the tournament and as they tried to force the game, the Russians were able to look to pick them off on the counter. One fantastic one-touch move would have proved to be the goal of the tournament but right back Aleksandr Anyukov, forced into a difficult angle, was only able to hit van der Sar with his shot. Despite the herculean efforts of Nigel de Jong in Holland's midfield, they were able to carve out several chances but the less-than-clinical finishing we've become used to continued to frustrate them.

Four minutes from time, it looked as if it might cost them. Wesley Sneijder's long free kick to the back post again saw Akinfeev stuck to his line like a bug on a toffee apple and van Nistelrooy was able to steal in unchallenged to head home a scarcely-deserved equaliser to take the game into extra time.

If the Russians were feeling deflated at conceding such a late equaliser, it didn't show as they started the extra period at the same lick they'd played out the ninety minutes. A Pavlyuchenko effort cannoned off the the bar, Dmitri Torbinski was only able to shoot weakly at van der Sar after more twinkle-toed tricks from Arshavin and there was even a decent shout for a penalty when Zhirkov was upended by the struggling Heitinga but it took until eight minutes from time for them to regain the lead.

Again, it was Arshavin in the thick of things, dancing past the shredded Ooijer and floating a cross over to the far post that was gratefully poked into the net by Torbinski. There was even time for the play-maker to get on the score-sheet himself when the entire Dutch defence, beaten, turned off and allowed him to run through onto a throw and finish through van der Sar's legs, the ball taking a thin nick off Ooijer on the way through just to really make the defender's evening.

Russia go through to play Italy or Spain and the Dutch, who have entertained gloriously this tournament, return with their orange hordes to Holland.

Croatia 1 – 1 Turkey (1 – 3 on pens)

The Turks upset the formbook to snatch a dramatic win and go on to meet Germany in the semis.

In a tense and fairly dour match, the pattern had been set early on with Croatia looking the marginally more attacking side and Turkey seemingly content to try and contain them, though at the expense of a number of yellow cards that will see a handful of their better performers forced to sit out the showdown against the Germans.

This was probably the game in which the absence of the injured Eduardo da Silva really bit the Croats and nothing underlined that fact more than Ivica Olic's incredible miss in the eighteenth minute. Luka Modric, after playing a smart one two, burst into the Turkish penalty area and put the ball on a plate for the hard-working forward, only to see him slam his effort against the bar when it looked easier to score. Nico Kranjcar, following up, made it two howlers in a second when he failed to nod the rebound into an empty net. It was to prove a defining snapshot of Olic's evening: whilst his work-rate and willingness to die for the cause is admirable, he's just not really good enough at this level.

Mehmet Topal was narrowly wide with a thirty-five yard screamer for the Turks and Olic, again, was denied when letting a dropping ball bounce in the Turkish area he really should have tried to hit on the full but it took until the eighty-third minute before either side came close again. Dario Srna's curling free kick was heading into the top right-hand corner before veteran custodian Rustu Recber got across well to parry it away.

With the ninety minutes up (0 – 0), it was actually the Turks who looked to be in the ascendant during extra time and the commendable Tuncay, who along with the revelation Arda will be sorely missed in the next round, came very close with another long-range effort.

It appeared to be all over for Turkey, though, just one minute before the end. Rustu, suffering a Nikopolidis moment, or perhaps catching a whiff of a Werther's Original, chased Modric out of his goal toward the corner flag and was left stranded when the little midfielder managed to turn in a cross. Given the simplest of chances, Ivan Klasnic, luckily on for the misfiring Olic, nodded home to send the Croats wild and apparently book their place against Germany.

Nobody thought to tell the Turkish players they were out, though. Straight from the restart, the ball was worked back to Rustu to launch upfield. It was a tactic that had failed time and time again during the match, the big Croatian defence simply eating up anything in the air. This time, though, in the most crucial moment of the game, the ball fell loose and was rifled into the top corner by Semih Senturk with what was to prove the last kick of the game. Drama beyond drama and the suddenly deflated Croats now had to try and win through on penalties.

The shoot-out itself started badly for Croatia, when the otherwise excellent Modric lost his calm and sends his effort wide. Ivan Rakitic missed to the other side after Turan, Srna and Semih had scored theirs and, once Hamit had made it three-one, Mladen Petric had to score to keep Croatia in it. The striker looked absolutely shot, though, and his poor effort was pushed away by Rustu, able to redeem himself right at the death.

On the balance of play, perhaps a harsh result for Croatia but it's impossible not to admire the indomitable will not to be beaten within this Turkish side. With a couple of their star performers out for the next game, they will need every last ounce of that will if they are to get past the Germans, But, whatever happens now, this tournament has been a resounding success for one of the least-fancied nations at the start. Yes, they've only been ahead for a combined total of two minutes in their four games so far but, blimey, what drama they've contributed.

Croatia's demise does for the bet I'd laid before the tournament began but they've given me a good run for my money and I'll be cracking open the slivovitz to toast them, regardless.

Portugal 2 – 3 Germany

The Germans storm into the semi finals with a fine display against the fancied Portuguese.

It was a lively start to the game, with both sides looking to get forward, and a goal looked imminent pretty much from the off. It finally came on twenty-two minutes when Bastian Schweinsteiger slid home Lukas Podoslki’s left-wing cross to finish a fabulous move and kick-off the Seven Nation Army chants from the German supporters.

Things got even better for them just four minutes later, Cristiano Ronaldo allowing Miroslav Klose to get away from him and head Schweinsteiger’s floated free-kick, unchallenged, past the static Ricardo in the Portuguese goal.

Portugal, clearly shell-shocked at being two down, nonetheless got back into their stride and put together a flowing move that only broke down when a slightly under-hit final ball from Ronaldo allowed the scampering German defence to intercept. They were, though, able to pull a goal back four minutes before half time. Deco, their player of the tournament, won the ball on the edge of his own area and burst forward, laying the ball off to Simao Sabrosa. The over-rated winger in turn put Ronaldo one on one with Jens Lehmann and, though the keeper managed to block his initial effort, the baby-faced Nuno Gomes was on hand to tuck away the rebound.

The half finished with both sides continuing to make chances and the second half started with Portugal centre-back Pepe heading over from a corner when it looked easier to score. The Portuguese were to pay dearly for the miss on sixty-two minutes when Michael Ballack, making space for himself with a sly nudge in the back of Paulo Ferreira, was able to get ahead of Ricardo and head home another Schweinsteiger free-kick from the left.

Suddenly, Portugal looked bereft of ideas, reduced to aimless and wasteful long-range efforts, and it seemed as if the Germans were going to run out comfortable winners. However, in a rare moment of footballing lucidity, the petulant and infuriating Nani dug out a decent cross from the left from which the criminally-unmarked Helder Postiga was allowed to bullet a header into the roof of the net and get Yogi Loew breaking into his fags.

Alas, there were to be no more fireworks, as the Germans brought on Marcell Jansen for a spot of redemption in closing out the game, but if the remaining three quarter finals are going to prove as good as this one, there can be absolutely no complaints.