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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Sixteen.... Round Fifteen.... Round Fourteen.... Round Thirteen.... Round Twelve.... Round Eleven

Big Sam Bites The Dust

 

Aston Villa 2 - West Bromwich Albion 1

Villa get a much-needed three points with a home win over Midlands rivals West Brom. The Baggies have been enjoying a good season and started strongly against an Aston Villa side who'd been struggling in recent weeks. Somen Tchoyi could have put the away side ahead on twenty minutes, only for his curled effort to crack back off the bar. Just five minutes later, the home team were ahead, with Stuart Downing converting Marc Albrighton's cross at the far post. A second came with ten minutes left, as another Albrighton cross just eluded James Collins but found the forehead of Emile Heskey, six yards out. Paul Scharner pulled a goal back with a minute left, heading in Chris Brunt's corner, and Brunt almost snatched a last-minute equaliser, but for the committed efforts of Collins in getting the block in.

 

Bolton Wanderers 2 - Blackburn Rovers 1

Bolton beat neighbours Blackburn at the Reebok to go sixth, as Rovers' new owners bid farewell to Sam Allardyce. The game started poorly but came to life after Mark Davies saw yellow for the second time in the match after elbowing Phil Jones. Blackburn upped their game in the search fro the win but it was the home side who went ahead, with Fabrice Muamba given time in the area to jink past Ryan Nelsen and plant a finish beyond Paul Robinson with twenty-five minutes left. Rovers came back strongly and got their reward with just three minutes to go when Mame Biram Diouf collected Jason Roberts's smart reverse ball and lifted the ball over Jussi Jaaskelainen. Parity was short-lived, however, with Bolton scoring a textbook "Allardyce" goal within a minute: Kevin Davies nodding down Sam Ricketts's raking long ball to the bombing-on Stuart Holden, who controlled the ball on his chest before striking a left-foot volley into the corner.

 

Everton 0 - Wigan Athletic 0

The Toffees are held at home by Wigan, to be left just two points outside the relegation zone. The Latics produced a performance full of graft and commitment and proved difficult for Everton, after a bright start, to break down. The home side pressed hard after the break and Ali Al Habsi found himself a busy man, though proved up to the task, with the post keeping out Tim Cahill's header when the keeper finally was beaten. Wigan could well have won the match late on, had Mohamed Diame been able to finish when through on goal, whilst Ronnie Stam saw a shot tipped just round the post by Tim Howard. Probably a fair result but one that doesn't much help either side.

 

Fulham 0 - Sunderland 0

Sunderland leave the capital with a point after a dull stalemate at Craven Cottage. And, having summed things up quite nicely, I think, it's time to move on.

 

Manchester United 1 - Arsenal 0

Man United go back of the table after narrowly seeing off Arsenal at Old Trafford. The first half came and went with plenty of graft shown but very little in the way of clear-cut chances, until Park Ji-Sung improvised a header from Nani's cross that dropped over Wojciech Szczensy and inside teh far post with four minutes to go. The young keep did much better ten minutes into the second half, producing an excellent stop to keep out Anderson. It was the home side looking the more dangerous but Marouane Chamakh spurned a chance to put his side back on terms when he snatched at the loose ball after Edwin van der Sar had parried a Samir Nasri effort, allowing Nemanja Vidic to block. The Red Devils should then have made the game safe, after Gael Clichy slipped in the area and was adjudged to have handled. Luckily for them, they weren't made to pay after Rooney launched his attempt over the bar and half-way to back to Liverpool.

 

Newcastle United 3 - Liverpool 1

Alan Pardew's reign starts brightly as Newcastle post a comfortable home win against Liverpool. The Magpies took a deserved lead on quarter of an hour when Kevin Nolan was first to Andy Carroll's nod-down in the area. Liverpool, despite being of-colour were back on terms four minutes after half time, when Dirk Kuyt had a dip after a long ball had bounced back to him off Sol Campbell, the shot caught a deflection off Steven Taylor, which was enough to take it out of the reach of Tim Krul. Newcastle came hard to win back their lead and got it with ten minutes left. Carroll flicked on Krul's long kick and, with the Reds' defence caught static, Joey Barton charged through to turn the ball past Pepe Reina. The impressive Carroll then completed the win with a rasping left-footed drive in the game's closing moments, as his side moved above their visitors in the table.

 

Stoke City 0 - Blackpool 1

Blackpool pick up another win on the road to come away from the Britannia with all three points. The Seasiders looked a little off the pace after their week off and struggled to deal with Kenwyne Jones as the big Trinidadian made a nuisance of himself. Ricardo Fuller then saw a good effort come back off the bar as half-time approached and the home side were looking a decent bet for the win. The game turned three minutes into the second period, however, as DJ Campbell showed predatory instincts to flick in Luke Varney's low cut-back. City worked hard to get back on terms but all-too-often found their last ball missing their men in the middle and when Ian Evett cleared a Rory delap effort off the line late on, their race was run.

 

Tottenham Hotspur 1 - Chelsea 1

Chelsea spurn a golden opportunity to get back to winning ways with a late penalty miss at White Hart Lane that sees them have to settle for a point. The home side started looking full of confidence and took the game to the defending champions from the first minute. They were rewarded on fifteen minutes when Jermain Defoe, despite a strong suspicion of offside, sent in a low cross that Roman Pavlyuchenko pushed beyond John Terry and Jon Mikel Obi before cracking a shot on the turn past Petr Cech. Chelsea responded by bringing on more firepower after the break and they slowly got a foothold in the game, before taking the initiative. Substitute Didier Drogba had them level with twenty minutes left when he was able to escape the otherwise-impressive Michael Dawson before blasting in a left-footed shot that had too much on it for Huerelho Gomes as the keeper was already half-sitting down. With time running out, Gomes was again at fault as he clumsily barged Ramires over in the box but this time the keeper was able to redeem himself by keeping out Drogba's poor spot-kick.

 

West Ham United 1 - Manchester City 3

Storm clouds continue to gather over Upton Park as West Ham go down at home to Manchester City. The Sky Blues were forced onto the back foot in the game's early stages, as the Hammers belied their position at the foot of the table and began with a lot of promise. They slowly wrested control, however, and took the lead on the half-hour, courtesy of Yaya Toure's thunderous drive from the edge of the area. West Ham's heads didn't drop and they worked hard to stay in the game, until Toure got free down the left before striking an effort that came back off the post and then into the net off the luckless Robert Green. With nine minutes left, Adam Johnson collected David Silva's inch-perfect through-ball before rounding Green for the third and, though James Tomkins headed a late consolation, the Eastenders finished the weekend three points adrift of Wolves.

 

Wolverhampton Wanderers 1 - Birmingham City 0

Wolves pick up an important win at Molineux in the local derby against Birmingham. It was a thoroughly-deserved three points for a home side who looked much the more impressive throughout. Ben Foster had to be on his toes early on to keep out efforts from Dave Edwards and Stephen Hunt and was again called into action to beat away an effort from Sylvan Ebanks-Blake as the visitors looked in danger of being overrun. On the stroke of half time, Wolves got the goal they'd deserved when Hunt turned home Ebanks-Blake's cross at the near post. A City fightback was long in coming and Edwards, then Nenad Milijas had chances to extend the home side's lead before the introduction of Kevin Phillips finally kicked the Blues into life. It was all too little, too late, though, and Birmingham are now just three points above their neighbours.