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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Twenty-Seven.... Round Twenty-Six.... Round Twenty-Four.... Round Twenty-Three.... Round Twenty-Two.... Round Twenty-One

A Bad Weekend For Wigan

 

The Latics find themselves finishing round twenty-eight at the bottom of the table as events conspire against them. Most of the headlines from their match at the DW Stadium centred around another show of petulance from serial rag-loser Wayne Rooney, with the striker escaping without punishment after throwing an elbow at James McCarthy. It was a better game than that, though, with the Latics starting brightly and veteran keeper Edwin van der Sar forced into a good early save to prevent Victor Moses giving them the lead. Almost inevitably, the visitors then took the lead shortly after the quarter of an hour mark, with Javier Hernandez nipping onto Nani's low cross to provide a consumate finish past AlI Al-Habsi. Wigan responded and van der Sar had to be at his best again in pulling off a point-blank save to deny McCarthy. As the game wore on, however, the home side slowly ran out of steam and the league leaders were able to pull away. Hernandez provided a clinical finish to Rooney's return pass with fifteen minutes left and, with the game all-but safe, Rooney and then Fabio da Silva were able to add a gloss to the result with a late goal apiece. With the bottom of the table incredibly tight, Wigan aren't out of things by any stretch of the imagination but it's getting late and time's pressing.

West Ham climbed off the bottom on Sunday after spanking Liverpool at Upton Park, at least temporarily stalling the Dalglish revolution. Scott Parker continues to be the Hammers' inspiration and a wonderful first time finish off the outside of his boot beat Pepe Reina to send his side on their way. Liverpool struggled to cope in the face of a surprisingly excellent performance and Demba Ba headed the Eastenders two up on the stroke of half time. It took an hour for the Reds to test Robert Green, with Luis Suarez's effort after a slick turn parried round the post by the keeper. The Uruguayan started to show as the game progressed and another fantastic spin took him past Matthew Upson before his low cross was converted by returning Iron Glen Johnson to add some spice to the finale. Liverpool's hopes didn't flicker for long, with Carlton Cole rag-dolling Martin Skrtel befoe beating Reina at his near post just five minutes later to make the points safe.

The Londoners had been sent to the foot of the table on Saturday by Wolves, who demolished ten-man Blackpool at Molineux. Matt Jarvis had Wanderers on their way within two minutes, emphatically curling Mark Hammill's lay off round Richard Kingson after a lovely flowing move. The Tangerine's cause wasn't helped when DJ Campbell threw a strop just before half-time, launching himself at Richard Stearman like a two-can screamer at closing time and earning a red card in the process. The second half proved to be a largely one-way affair, especially after Jamie O'Hara thrupped a second past Kingson ten minutes after the break. Sylvan Ebanks-Blake came off the bench to grab a late, twelve-minute brace and now just six points separate the bottom ten.

West Bromwich Albion, meanwhile, grabbed a late equaliser to take a point away from the Britannia. Rory Delap headed Stoke ahead from Jermaine Pennant's corner ten minutes into the second half, after a frankly appalling opening forty-five minutes. City had predictably subjected the recalled Scott Carson to an aerial barrage but it was poor marking that cost them the goal, with Delap able to escape Graham Dorrans with ease. There were ten minutes left when the on-loan Carlos Vela was introduced and with three minutes remaining, the Mexican took advantage of a poor call from the linesman to stick the ball past Asmir Begovic despite being pretty obviously offside. It could have got worse for the Potters but for the keeper's fine double save at the death to keep out Dorrans and then Somen Tchoyi and both sides had to be content with a share of the points.

Blackburn were dragged into trouble after being caned by Aston Villa in Birmingham. The home side had enjoyed the better of the first half but needed a second-half gift from Keith Andrews to take a deserved lead. Just four minutes of the second period had been played when the midfielder was caught aimlessly dawdling on the ball by Ashley Young. He brought the winger down trying to rectify his mistake and Young converted the spot kick himself. The home side didn't look back. They were two up when Grant Hanley saw Marc Albrighton's cross too late to be able to do anything about it and turned the ball into his own net and then Stuart Downing charged half the length of the field to make it three. Rovers pulled a goal back thanks to Nikola Kalinic's deflected effort but Young then hammered Downing's lay-off into the roof of the net to restore the three-goal cushion. Ryan Nelsen's late sending off, for a second yellow card offence, came too late to make any difference.

Everton gave themselves some breathing space by seeing off Sunderland two-nil at Goodison. Jermaine Beckford was the Toffees' hero, with a pair of unconvincing finishes to see off their lacklustre opponents. The home side were well worth their win and produced periods of play that promise they should end the season looking up the table, rather than over their shoulders.

With only the Mancunian rivals from the top five playing, City missed their chance of taking advantage by being held at home by Fulham. Mario Balotelli's early strike from the edge of the area was cancelled out by Damien Duff's strike at the end of a flowing move just after the restart. Mark Hughes has been no stranger to hand-shaking controversy in recent times and the chopsy Welshman was at it again at Eastlands, taking exception to opposite number Roberto Mancini's attention deficit disorder.

Finishing up the weekend's action, Bolton came from behind to take a draw against ten-man Newcastle at St. James's. Kevin Nolan had given his side the lead, guiding a header beyond Jussi Jaaskelainen from Cheik Tiote's free kick. Ten minutes after the interval, Ryan Taylor rightly saw red for a horrible lunge on Johan Elmander and Wanderers took advantage, with Daniel Sturridge bagging his fourth goal in as many games since his loan move from Chelsea.

 

Full weekend results:

Aston Villa 4 - Blackburn Rovers 1

Everton 2 - Sunderland 0

Manchester City 1 - Fulham 1

Newcastle United 1 - Bolton Wanderers 1

Stoke City 1 - West Bromwich Albion 1

West Ham United 3 - Liverpool 1

Wigan Athletic 0 - Manchester United 4

Wolverhampton Wanderers 4 - Blackpool 0