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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Twenty-Four.... Round Twenty-Three.... Round Twenty-Two A.... Round Twenty-Two.... Round Twenty-One.... Round Twenty

Pool Go Fourth

 

Birmingham City 2 - Wolverhampton Wanderers 1

Two late goals for veteran Kevin Phillips see Birmingham come from behind to beat their Black Country neighbours. City started full of confidence, Michael Mancienne having to clear a Cameron Jerome header off the line, but Wolves fought their way into the game as the first half progressed and eventually took the lead just before half-time. The ball was worked out to Matthew Jarvis on the left side of the penalty area and when the winger's cross was deflected onto the near post by the unfortunate Roger Johnson, the impressive Kevin Doyle was lurking in the right spot to tuck away the loose ball. Wanderers were looking full value for a win with ten minutes remaining but Phillips turned back the clock with a brace of class finishes to turn the game around. First, he stuck away a sharp near post volley from Craig Gardner's nod back before grabbing the win five minutes later with a nifty turn and shot after controlling Stephen Carr's cross with his chest. The result was tough on Wolves but Birmingham's wagon just keeps on rolling.

 

Bolton Wanderers 0 - Fulham 0

Bolton are forced to settle for a draw when Kevin Davies's legitimate-looking late winner is ruled out. Fulham turned up at the Reebok clearly intending to settle for a point and as Wanderers looked short of creative spark, the match wasn't one that will long stick in the memory. Bolton did, however, create the better chances and Mark Davies should perhaps have done better when crashing his drive off Mark Schwarzer's ankle and the bar. In the game's final moments, Kevin Davies appeared to have made the breakthrough with a trademark header from Chun-Yong Lee's corner. To the dismay of most of the crowd and rightful irritation of manager Owen Coyle, referee Mark Clattenberg decided the robust striker had pushed Brede Hangeland when challenging for the ball. Replays suggested any such nudge, if made, was the standard stuff of aerial challenges and the Lancastrians were hard done by.

 

Burnley 2 - West Ham United 1

Burnley grab a crucial win at Turf Moor that leaves West Ham deep in trouble. The Clarets started an excellent match very strongly and took teh lead after quarter of an hour. New signing Daniel Fox launched a long ball in the direction of the chasing David Nugent and Hammers centre-back totally misread the flight of the ball. Nugent nipped in and lofted a good finish over the onrushing Robert Green. Ten minutes after half-time, Fox's debut got even better. Jack Collison had been guilty of an unnecessary foul on Tyron Mears just outside the area and Fox made him pay with a fabulous free-kick that left Green no chance at all. By this time, Gianfranco Zola had replaced the out-of-sorts Benni McCarthy with Mido and the Egyptian impressed in the time allowed him, beating Brian Jensen in a race to the ball to set up fellow debutant Ilan to reduce the arrears with ten minutes left. United twice hit the woodwork in their increasingly-desperate attempts to salvage something from the game but Burnley held on to deliver Brian Laws his first win as manager.

 

Chelsea 2 - Arsenal 0

Chelsea stay top after seeing off Arsenal in a lively derby at Stamford Bridge. The home side were ahead after just seven minutes when John Terry - fresh after seeing his England captaincy taken away from him to a soundtrack of sanctimonious moralising before being given to a drug cheat - flicked on a Florent Malouda corner to a loitering Didier Drogba, allowing the Ivorian to extend his remarkable scoring record against the Gunners. Chelsea were content to allow Arsenal all the possession they wanted in the middle of the pitch and hit their visitors with a sucker-punch on twenty-five minutes. When Andrei Arshavin was dispossessed on the edge of the Chelsea area, Frank Lampard strode up the field before playing the ball up to Drogba. With Nicolas Anelka's savvy run taking half the Arsenal defence with it, Drogba was able to turn Gael Clichy before cutting inside Thomas Vermaelen and slamming a shot past the static frame of Manuel Almunia. Game over ... and perhaps Arsenal's title chances with it.

 

Hull City 2 - Manchester City 1

The Tigers bring the Citizens down to earth with a bump at the KC. Hull had put in a great performance against Chelsea in midweek and picked up where they left off with a committed first half that saw them take a deserved lead on the half hour. Young centre-back Dedryck Boyata was struggling with the live-wire Jozy Altidore and, having fouled the striker to give away a free-kick, neglected to follow his subsequent run. With all the space in the world, the American was able to collect Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink's tidy lay-off and curl a precise finish past Shay Given in the City goal. Ten minutes after the break and it was two, when George Boateng returned Kolo Toure's clearance to the edge of the area with interest and thrashed his volley beyond Given. New signing Adam Johnson was thrown on to try and change things for City and the young winger had an almost immediate effect when his corner eventually made its way, via Toure's heel, to Emmanuel Adebayor to reduce the arrears. The expected onslaught didn't materialise, however, and Hull were able to hold on to a valuable win.

 

Liverpool 1 - Everton 0

Martin Atkinson's reputation disintegrates to the backdrop of a spiteful Merseyside derby. The referee lost control of this game as soon as Javier Mascherano was allowed to get away with a horrible early challenge and the players took full advantage, with half of them carrying out assaults whilst the other half flung themselves theatrically to the floor, Steven Gerrard notably managing both. A disgraceful Stephen Pienaar stamp on Mascherano only brought a yellow card and by the time Atkinson looked to assert himself by sending of Sotirios Kyrgiakos for a two-footed lunge five minutes before the interval (somehow missing Marouane Fellaini's double-footed slam into the Greek centre-back's shin in the same incident), the game was already beyond him. The game was settled ten minutes after half-time when Tim Howard made a complete and utter cods of protecting his six-yard box and allowed Dirk Kuyt to head home Gerrard's corner. Everton, too, were reduced to ten men in the game's dying minutes when Pienaar finally picked up a second yellow but they'd already looked at least a player down for much of the preceding fifty minutes as Liverpool comfortably held them at arm's length. The Reds rejoin the top four and look likely to make good on Rafael Benitez's guarantee.

 

Manchester United 5 - Portsmouth 0

United hammer Pompey to keep the pressure on at the top of the table. It was one-way traffic from the first whistle as Portsmouth struggled to contain a rampant home side. The pressure had to tell and, five minutes before half-time, it duly did. Wayne Rooney made the most of a crictical error of judgement from David James in leaving Darren Fletcher's cross to head the opener and there was only going to be one winner from that moment on. On the stroke of half-time, United doubled their lead when Nani's attempted cross deflected off the unlucky Anthony Vanden Borre to wrong-foot the keeper and they were three up on the hour after Michael Carrick's speculative drive pinged off Richard Hughes and went in off the crossbar. A scant three minutes later and Dimitar Berbatov was gifted the freedom of the penalty area to twist and turn before finding the bottom corner with a good finish and teh misery was complete with twenty minutes left when Marc Wilson unleashed a sumptuous volley into his own net from Patric Evra's cross.

 

Stoke City 3 - Blackburn Rovers 0

Stoke post a comfortable win against Rovers as they aim for the top half of the table. In what was a very good display from City, the hosts were ahead after just eight minutes when Danny Higginbotham produced a controlled volley to find the corner of the net after Liam Lawrence's corner was only half cleared. Rovers clawed their way back into the game and exerted some pressure through a series of corners during which Christopher Samba saw an effort cleared off the line. The fightback was halted in first-half injury time when Matthew Etherington picked up the ball after a trademark Rory Delap throw had been beaten out and found Mamady Sidibe charging in at the far post to double the lead. The excellent Etherington made the game safe with twenty-five minutes left, cutting in from the wing before playing a one-two with Lawrence and scuffing a finish beyond the despairing Paul Robinson. The win sees City leapfrog Rovers in the table and, with games in hand, a finish in the top half looks a realistic ambition.

 

Sunderland 1 - Wigan Athletic 1

The Black Cats fail to win again as their slide threatens to embroil them in a relegation fight. With neither side in good form, they nonetheless served up an entertaining game at the Stadium of Light, the first half illuminated by Mohamed Diame's superb strike on twenty minutes. Lorik Cana had lost possession in the Sunderland midfield and Diame seized on the loose ball, motored past Matthew Killgallon as if the centre-back wasn't there and hammered an emphatic finish past the helpless Craig Gordon. The Black Cats came back and Darren Bent looked to have put them level shortly after the break, only to be denied by what looked an incorrect linesman's flag. The home side weren't to be denied, though, and Kenwyne Jones buried a header from Jordan Henderson's cross with twenty-five minutes left to set up a lively finish. Ultimately, a point is a point but you have to feel it doesn't really do either side very much good.

 

Tottenham Hotspur 0 - Aston Villa 0

Spurs and Villa battle out a stalemate at White Hart Lane that allows Liverpool to leapfrog the Londoners into fourth. Tottenham carried the game to the visitors for the whole of the first half, only to find Villa in typically pugnacious mood at the back, throwing bodies in the way of everything. The Birmingham side showed a little more desire to go for the win for large parts of the second period, though were waved back into defence as the game wore on by Martin O'Neill, clearly happy to take a point. The inability to break down sides intent on defending at White Hart Lane is a failing that could end up costing Spurs dear this season. The surprising lack of ambition shown by a side apparently aiming for a top four finish could also do for Villa's hopes of fulfilling that aim. In the meantime, Liverpool are making the most of things.