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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Twenty-Three.... Round Twenty-Two.... Round Twenty-One.... Round Twenty.... Round Nineteen.... Round Eighteen

United March On

 

Arsenal 3 - Wigan Athletic 0

The Gunners keep in touch at the top after a comfortable home win over the Latics. Wigan were hardly in contention and only the heroics of goalkeeper Ali Al-Habsi prevented the Londoners running up a cricket score. The stopper was finally beaten just after twenty minutes when Robin van Persie finished first time from Alexander Song's pass. More chances came and went but a combination of some last-minute blocks and good stops from Al-Habsi kept the deficit to a single goal at half-time. Van Persie finally calmed the fans' nerves with a second goal just before the hour, volleying in Cesc Fabregas's lofted ball. The Dutchman then spurned a hat-trick chance, skying his penalty attempt after Fabregas had tumbled under the attentions of Gary Calwell, who was subsequently red-carded. He made amends five minutes before the end, however, finishing Theo Walcott's lay-off from close range.

 

Aston Villa 1 - Manchester City 0

Villa start their climb away from trouble with a good home win against high-flying Man City. The visitors started typically cagily and allowed Villa to get onto the front foot. New boy Darren Bent was anonymous for most of the game but did what he was bought to do after just eighteen minutes, turning home when Joe Hart had parried Ashley Young's effort; typically getting himself into the right place at the right time. The Sky Blues took time to build up a head of steam in response and had their hosts under some pressure towards the end of the match, without forcing Brad Friedel into much in the way of saves. Villa, for their part, had looked fairly dangerous on the break and solid in the centre of defence. The win bods well for them.

 

Blackburn Rovers 2 - West Bromwich Albion 0

Rovers move up to seventh after seeing off the nose-diving Baggies at Ewood Park. Albion could perhaps count themselves unlucky to come away with nothing and they started brightly, Peter Odemwingie forcing an early save out of Paul Robinson, who impressed throughout. Blackburn were handed the lead five minutes before half time, as Gabriel Tamas twisted in mid-air to acrobatically, if idiotically, head David Dunn's right-wing cross past Boaz Myhill. The West Brom keeper had no chance with that one and absolutely none with Rovers' second, two minutes after the interval. Collecting Nikola Kalinic's chested lay-off in his stride, David Hoilett advanced a couple of yards before sending a rasping, dipping drive into the roof of the Albion net. The visitors were then denied a way back into the game when referee Mark Clattenburg somehow failed to spot Phil Jones's upending of Odemwingie had happened in the penalty area and awarded a free-kick instead, which was then spanked aimlessly into the wall by Chris Brunt. It's been a decent start for Steve Kean at Ewood Park.

 

Blackpool 1 - Sunderland 2

Sunderland make light of the loss of their top scorer with an away win at Bloomfield Road. Just before the quarter-hour, Keiran Richardson kicked Neil Eardley in the face then, as the defender was off the field getting the bleeding staunched, stole into the space he'd left to tuck a tidy finish into the far side of Richard Kingson's net. The Seasiders responded, with Luke Varney and Charlie Adam going close, but the Black Cats doubled their lead ten minutes before half time. Richardson was again the goalscorer, arriving at the near post to steer Steed Malbranque's smart pass into the net. The Tangerines looked to increase the pace after the break but were unable to find a way past Craig Gordon until David Vaughan was brought down in the area with five minutes to go and Charlie Adam converted the spot-kick. Sunderland are still comfortably holding onto that European qualifying spot.

 

Bolton Wanderers 0 - Chelsea 4

Chelsea hold onto their place in the top four after a heavy win at the Reebok. Didier Drogba had the defending champions ahead on eleven minutes, thrashing on from thirty yards after Florent Malouda had dispossesed Gretar Steinsson. Matt Taylor then forced a good save from Petr Cech but it was the Londoners who scored again, Florent Malouda finding the net at the second attempt five minutes before the break. Nicolas Anelka got the third, ten minutes after the interval, when the ball fell nicely for him after Zat Knight had charged down Drogba. Wanderers again briefly flickered, with Cech pulling off a brave stop to deny substitute Mark Davies, but Ramires had the final say, side-footing into the goal from the edge of the area after the Bolton defence had failed to deal with Michael Essien's pass.It's still unlikely Chelsea will be able to recover sufficiently to mount a real challenge but at least they look game.

 

Everton 2 - West Ham United 2

Everton grab a late equaliser to keep West Ham rooted to the foot of the table. The Hammers looked reasonably comfortable during the game's early stages and took the lead on twenty-six minutes, with Luis Boa Morte running onto Mark Noble's incisive pass and not messing up his control quite enough to prevent him squaring the ball to Jonathon Spector for a first Premier League goal. United took control of the game at that point and could have gone further ahead but the home side slowly worked their way back and were level with fifteen minutes left, with Diniyar Bilyaletdinov cracking the ball past Rob Green after Frederic Piquionne had failed to get any distance on his clearing header. Piquionne then when from villain to hero with six minutes left, heading in Wayne Bridge's cross, before turning villain again in picking up a yellow card after brainlessly celebrating in with the travelling fans. The Toffees took advantage in injury time, Marouane Fellaini turning well to fire the loose ball past Green.

 

Fulham 2 - Stoke City 0

Fulham start to pull away from the danger zone after seeing off Stoke at Craven Cottage. The home side dominated possession in the first half but it was the visitors who should have taken the lead when Kenwyne Jones could only crack a shot against the woodwork when he should have done better. They were made to pay shortly after, as Andrew Johnson ran Ryan Shawcross to the byline before rolling the ball across for Clint Dempsey to poke home. Both Dempsey's and Shawcross's games continued in much the same vein after the break. Ten minutes into the second period, the centre-back saw red for hauling down the midfielder in the area and the American got up to convert the spot kick himself. There was no way back for City.

 

Manchester United 5 - Birmingham City 0

Manchester United dismantle Birmingham at Old Trafford to stay on track to win the title. The home side were ahead within two minutes - Dimitar Berbatov scoring from inches after Ryan Giggs's corner had skimmed across off the top of John O'Shea's head - and the away side were never in it. It was two on the half-hour, with Anderson intercepting Roger Johnson's wayward pass before feeding Wayne Rooney, who rolled the ball across to Berbatov to strike a low effort into the net for his second of the game. Giggs made it three in first-half injury time, sticking Rooney's low cross into the roof of the net. The fourth came eight minutes into the second period, with Berbatov completing his hat-trick with a slick finish from Giggs's cross. Nani brought up the nap hand with quarter of an hour left, running across the front of the dispirited Brum rear-guard before blatting an effort beyond Ben Foster. All too easy.

 

Newcastle United 1 - Tottenham Hotspur 1

The Magpies are once again pegged back at the death as Spurs grab a late draw at St. James's. The visitors enjoyed plenty of the ball in the game's early stages but it was the home side who carved out the better chances, with Shola Ameobi blazing off target twice from inside the area and Leon Best seeing his effort on the stretch bounce up and onto the crossbar. With the strikers misfiring, it was left to a centre-back to open the scoring on the hour, Fabrizio Coloccini collecting Danny Guthrie's pass on his chest before cutting inside and rifling in a shot Carlo Cudicini failed to deal with. Peter Lovenkrands then turned down a chance to double the lead when he was unable to beat Cudicini in a one-on-one, whilst the keeper also did well in turning Ameobi's curling effort round the post. Tottenham enjoyed chances of their own but with time running out, the game looked to be heading Newcastle's way until Aaron Lennon was allowed to cut in from teh left and zip in a shot that beat Steve Harper at his near post.

 

Wolverhampton Wanderers 0 - Liverpool 3

Liverpool bag a first win for old/new manager Kenny Dalglish at Molineux. Wolves set out their stall to contain and frustrate but, led by the impressive Raul Meireles, the visitors proved a handful. They took the lead on thirty-eight minutes when the Portuguese ran onto Christian Poulsen's immaculate through ball and squared for Fernando Torres to convert. Wanderers opened up in their search for an equaliser and Wayne Hennesey had to be smart to charge down Dirk Kuyt as the Reds looked to hit them on the break. The second goal came five minutes into the second half, with Meireles sending a wonderful controlled volley arcing past Hennessey from just outside the area. The home side couldn't respond and Torres sealed the win in injury time, larruping the ball into the roof of the net from close range.