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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Twenty-Six.... Round Twenty-Five.... Round Twenty-Four.... Round Twenty-Three.... Round Twenty-Two A

Everton On The Up

 

Arsenal 2 - Sunderland 0

The Gunners stay in touch at the top as Sunderland's woeful run of form threatens to land them in the drop zone. Given the Black Cats' current shortcomings, the home side dominated from the start and eventually made the breakthrough on the half hour when Nicklas Bendnter turned home Emmanuel Eboue's cross at the far post. Sunderland had hardly been in the game but should have gone into the break level only for Kenwyne Jones to scuff an atrocious finish wide when put in on goal. Craig Gordon then provided an impassable barrier to keep his side in with a chance during the second half, before Darren Bent was denied by Manuel Almunia as the visitor's last chance went begging. With time running out, Cesc Fabregas was able to buy a penalty off Frazer Campbell and convert the kick himself to make the score a little more representative of the game as a whole. Suddenly, Arsenal are just two points behind Manchester United.

 

Aston Villa 5 - Burnley 2

Villa come from behind to put Burnley to the sword at Villa Park. The Clarets haven't been travelling well this season but went ahead on ten minutes when Steven Fletcher turned home David Nugent's cross at the far post. The away side then looked fairly comfortable holding their lead until the half-hour mark when Daniel Fox allowed Ashley Young's hopeful effort to pass straight through him and past the unsighted Brian Jensen. Burnley were still good value for a point up to ten minutes into the second period, when Young tore down the left before crossing for Stuart Downing to steer home his first league goal for the Birmingham side. Worse was to follow for Brian Laws's charges just two minutes later, as Downing claimed a second after Jensen had done well to stop a Gabriel Agbonlahor strike. With Burnley reeling, Villa notched a fourth just three minutes later, with Agbonlahor setting up Emile Heskey from close range, before the nippy forward got in on the act himself to tuck away James Milner's cross for his side's fifth before seventy minutes were up. Martin Paterson headed home Jack Cork's excellent cross in injury time to reduce the damage a little but, put simply, Burnley won't stay up unless they can start earning the odd point away from home.

 

Blackburn Rovers 3 - Bolton Wanderers 0

Rovers all-but ensure Premier League football next year but leave Wanderers in all sorts of trouble in the relegation zone. Nikola Kalinic put his side a goal up five minutes before half-time, running onto Morten Gamst Pedersen's knock-down to finish despite the despairing efforts of Zat Knight. Bolton had enjoyed a couple of chances in the half but are in the middle of a potentially critical goal drought and the lack of confidence in their finishing was painfully evident. Blizzard conditions in the second half threatened to turn the match into a farce but, with visibility a real problem, Jason Roberts was able to latch onto a lofted ball into the area from Gael Givet and turn the ball past the Jussi Jaaskelainen. Givet then added a third with a deft header five minutes from time, that leaves Wanderers in desperate need of a win this coming weekend.

 

Everton 3 - Manchester United 1

The Toffees follow up last week's win against the league leaders by beating second-placed United at Goodison. As they did last week, Everton needed to come from behind after Dimitar Berbatov slammed home Antonio Valencia's cross after quarter of an hour. The lead lasted barely three minutes, however, as Diniyar Bilyaletdinov thundered an effort from distance into Edwin van der Sar's bottom left corner to put his side back on terms. The Russian then should have put Everton ahead shortly after, only to miss the target from close range, before Landon Donovan spurned a glorious opportunity to do the same with a total mis-kick after Wes Brown had allowed the ball to bounce back off him. David Moyes's side weren't to be denied, though, and youngster Dan Gosling finally got them the lead with fifteen minutes left, with a nice finish from Steven Pienaar's cross. When fellow substitute Jack Rodwell strode upfield before firing home in the last minute, it was as much as the Toffees had deserved and they continue to recover strongly from their poor start to the season.

 

Fulham 2 - Birmingham City 1

Fulham score late on to post a good win against Birmingham at Craven Cottage. The home side started very slowly and were behind after just three minutes when Chris Baird headed Lee Bowyer's cross into his own net. The damage from a lethargic first half performance could have been greater but for a terrific block as the defender atoned for his mistake by denying Keith Fahey. The Londoners upped both the tempo and quality in the second half and drew level on the hour when Damien Duff cut in from the right before unleashing a blistering drive just inside Joe Hart's far post. James McFadden came close to restoring Birmingham's lead, only for Mark Schwarzer to pull off a tremendous save, and it looked as if the game was heading for a draw. However, in the final minute, Bobby Zamora stepped up to spear a free-kick into the top corner and all three points stayed in West London. Fulham leapfrog City in the table.

 

Manchester City 0 - Liverpool 0

A truly abysmal match sees two sides happy not to lose play out a stalemate in the "fight" for a Champions' League place. Frankly, on this evidence, the competition could do without either of them.

 

Portsmouth 1 - Stoke City 2

The Potters grab a win at Portsmouth and must now hope their hosts survive their March 1st deadline in order to get to keep the hard-won points. Pompey are relegated already but the prospect of a drop down to the Championship is the least of their worries right now. In spite of the looming storm clouds, however, the team - many of whom are only at the club on loan - have continued to give it their absolute best up until now, though the signs were there in the second half that the l'esprit de corps may now be wearing a little thin. They took the lead in this one shortly after the half-hour when Frederic Piquionne turned home the loose ball after Thomas Sorensen failed to hold a Quincey Owusu-Abeyie shot. The lead lasted only until five minutes into the second half, when Robert Huth was gifted the freedom of the penalty area to thump home a header from Glenn Whelan's corner. The home side's luck seemed to have changed when Andy Wilkinson then received his marching orders for a pair of yellow cards in quick succession but, despite playing with four up front in the search for a much-needed win, the bloody-mindedness of recent weeks seemed to desert them. In typical fashion, the final word went to their visitors. In the dying seconds, Ricardo Fuller led a break-away down the right before finding Salif Diao, who tucked away the winner. Avram Grant needs a change of luck and soon.

 

West Ham United 3 - Hull City 0

The Hammers climb the table after comfortably seeing off nine-man City. West Ham came charging out of the blocks and were ahead with just three minutes on the clock, after Valon Behrami played a one-two with Guillermo Franco before burying the ball past Boaz Myhill. The Tigers were struggling to contain the Eastenders and Myhill had to be at his best to keep the score down but his side were given a mountain to climb five minutes into the second period when Craig Fagan earned himself a brainless red card for an unnecessary tug on Alessandro Diamanti. On the hour, Carlton Cole doubled the lead with a tidy finish from Julien Faubert's excellent pass. Hull were then dealt a further blow when Anthony Gardner suffered a suspected broken leg after falling awkwardly, with manager Phil Brown already having made all three of his substitutes. Faubert made the most of the numerical superiority to charge through and spank an unstoppable drive past Myhill deep into injury time. Two wins on the bounce take United up to thirteenth. City remain out of the relegation zone but, having played two games more than the sides immediately below them, have their work cut out.

 

Wigan Athletic 0 - Tottenham Hotspur 3

Tottenham pick up only their second win of 2010, as they convincingly see off Wigan at the DW Stadium. In a game played on a cabbage patch, both sides struggled to produce any passing fluency but Spurs had had the better of things when they took the lead in controversial circumstances. Niko Krancjar picked out Gareth Bale's excellent run and when the full-back drove in a low cross, Jermain Defoe was (as is his wont) a good couple of yards offside. The flag stayed down, the striker put the chance away and Latics fans could feel rather aggrieved. On balance, the Londoners probably deserved to be ahead but they needed a couple of late strikes from forgotten man Roman Pavlyuchenko to underline the difference in the two sides. The Russian clipped home a neat finish with five minutes of the game remaining, before turning in after his initial header had been blocked in the ninetieth minute. Tottenham take their turn to finish the week in fourth.

 

Wolverhampton Wanderers 0 - Chelsea 2

Chelsea extend their lead at the top of the table after a hard-fought win at Molineux. The Londoners have been struggling to produce any real fluency in recent weeks and weren't given a moment to dwell on the ball by a hard-working Wanderers side. When Chelsea were able to string a sequence of passes together, five minutes before half-time, it proved lethal. Yuri Zhirkov advanced into the inside-left position before flicking a ball through for Michael Ballack. Zhirkov continued his run onto the German's return ball and delivered a low ball across goal for Didier Drogba to turn in at the far post. There was nothing nearly as slick about Chelsea's second with twenty minutes left. Petr Cech launched a bomb upfield that Drogba was able to latch onto ahead of Christophe Berra. With Marcus Hahnemann ludicrously committing himself, the Ivorian was able to take the ball round the keeper and roll the ball into the empty net. The scoreline was a little harsh on the home side, who had forced Cech into two exceptional stops with the score at one-nil, but serves to underline the simple importance of putting the ball in the net. Wolves have only managed that ten times in fourteen home games this season, which is why Mick McCarthy's otherwise-impressive side are still down among the dead men.

 

Manchester United 3 - West Ham United 0

United bounce back immediately after their defeat at the weekend. After a reasonably slow start, the home side took the lead seven minutes before the break after a flowing move. Dimitar Berbatov picked out Antonio Valencia in the West Ham box and the winger's volleyed ball back across was met by Wayne Rooney with a thumping header. The Hammers were certainly not out of it at that stage but fell further behind ten minutes after half time. Again, Rooney did the damage, heading Valencia's right-wing cross past Robert Green. With ten minutes remaining, substitute Michael Owen ran onto Paul Scholes's pin-point pass to lift a finish over Green and it was job done. The defending champions therefore cut Chelsea's lead at the top to a single point once more, albeit having played a game more, and the season still looks as if it's going to go right to the wire.