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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Twenty-Four.... Round Twenty-Three.... Round Twenty-Two.... Round Twenty-One.... Round Twenty

United Beaten

 

Aston Villa 2 - Fulham 2

Fulham come from behind twice to earn a draw at Villa Park. The home side were out of the blocks quickly and were ahead on thirteen minutes when John Pantsil could only glance Stewart Downing's cross into his own net. It was the full-back's third own goal of the campaign. The Cottagers were working hard without causing the Villa defence too many problems until Steve Sidwell let fly from distance on fifty-two minutes. Mark Schwarzer could only parry and Andrew Johnson nodded in the rebound. The home side restored their lead with twenty minutes left, when full-back Kyle Walker cut in and let fly with a low drive from thirty yards which found the bottom corner. Their lead was only to last six minutes, however, with Clint Dempsey heading in Danny Murphy's corner after Brad Friedel failed to collect.

 

Chelsea 0 - Liverpool 1

Chelsea pass up the opportunity to resurrect their title challenge by going down tamely at home to Liverpool. Once again, the defending champions failed to turn up and a resolute Reds side were able to take advantage. Debutant Fernando Torres blasted over the bar in the first minute but otherwise it was the visitors who had the best chance of the first half, only for Maxi Rodriguez to hit the bar when it seemed almost impossible to miss. The fifty million pound man was taken off on sixty-six minutes and his new side conceded almost immediately, with Petr Cech and Branislav Ivanovic abject in dealing with a hopeful Steven Gerrard ball and Raul Meireles gleefully tonking home into an open goal. The home side hardly responded but should have nonetheless had a penalty in the game's closing moments when the returning Glen Johnson barged Ivanovic over in the area. Chances of defending their title have surely now completely disappeared, whilst Liverpool are resurgent.

 

Everton 5 - Blackpool 3

Goals galore at Goodison, with Everton finally able to see off tenacious Blackpool. The Toffees dominated the opening twenty minutes and took a deserved lead through Louis Saha's calm finish. The Seasiders were level largely out of nowhere, eight minutes before the break, with Alex Baptiste bundling the ball home from close range. Referee Kevin Friend then blew too early for a David Carney foul on Seamus Coleman, that saw a perfectly good Saha goal ruled out. The Frenchman did get a second just two minutes into a lively second half, steering the ball in after good work down the left from Leighton Baines. The Tangerines came back strongly and were level again when Jason Puncheon converted James Beattie's pull back just after the hour. A scant two minutes later and they were ahead, after Puncheon had robbed Sylvain Distin before teeing up DJ Campbell. Though the striker's effort cracked off the bar, Charlie Adam was on hand to head the rebound into the net. The home side didn't deserve to be behind and equalised with a quarter of an hour left, again through Saha with a close-range header. Jermaine Beckford then provided an excellent first-time volleyed finish from another Baines cross to put his side ahead once more and Saha completed a four-goal haul with a run from teh half-way line with six minutes left to make the game safe.

 

Manchester City 3 - West Bromwich Albion 0

City get back to winning ways with a comfortable home win against West Brom. Carlos Tevez had already hit the post when he was given an opportunity from twelve yards on seventeen minutes, after Steven Reid had brought down Alexander Kolarov. The Argentine made no mistake, rolling the ball calmly into the corner. Tevez bagged his second five minutes later, collecting David Silva's pass and hurdling Reid's desperate challenge before slotting home. He completed his hat-trick five minutes before half-time, firing another penalty high into the net after Jerome Thomas's handball. Job done, the Sky Blues were content to sit and soak up the inevitable second-half pressure from the Baggies, who now have just the one win from their last ten matches. It's all been too much for the board, who have decided to part company with Roberto di Matteo.

 

Newcastle United 4 - Arsenal 4

Newcastle stage a remarkable comeback to recover from four goals down and earn a home draw against Arsenal. The signs weren't good for the home side when Theo Walcott converted Andrei Arshavin's pass with only forty-four seconds on the clock. Things got worse just two minutes later, with Johan Djourou gifted the freedom of the penalty area to head Arshavin's free kick into the top corner. With just ten minutes gone, it was three, as Robin van Persie clinically finished Walcott's low cross. The fourth came after twenty-six minutes, Persie again the scorer, drifting in between a static Mike Williamson and Fabrizio Coloccini to head in. The start to the second half was a far less poitive one for the visitors, Djorou first forced off with injury on forty-eight minutes before Abou Diaby saw red after losing his rag with Joey Barton and Kevin Nolan. The Mapgies made the most of it. With twenty-two minutes left, Laurent Koscielny brought down Leon Best in the area and Barton converted the spot kick to get the comeback under way. Best then had a goal incorrectly ruled out for offside but pulled back a second with a quarter of an hour remaining, from Jose Enrique's cross. With seven minutes left, referee Phil Dowd gave the home side a massive helping hand when penalising Koscielny for an aerial tangle with Williamson in the box. There looked to be nothing in it but the ref poitned to the spot and Barton, again, made sure of his spot-kick. There were just three minutes of normal time remaining when a ball into the Gunners' box was only cleared as far as Cheik Tiote, who produced a memorable controlled volley to send the ball arcing into the bottom left corner and trigger pandemonium among the home support. Bonkers.

 

Stoke City 3 - Sunderland 2

Stoke twice come from behind before earning a late home win against Sunderland. Keiran Richardson got the visitors off to the perfect start when, after just two minutes, he lashed home Phil Bardsley's cross after Asamoah Gyan had air-kicked. City continued launching balls into the mixer and were deservedly level just after the half-hour. Keeper Craig Gordan signally failed to deal with a trademark Rory Delap throw into the area and John Carew eventually bundled the ball home from a clearly offside position. The Black Cats were back in front three minutes after the interval, Gyan racing onto Sulley Muntari's pass and outmuscling Robert Huth before sticking the ball away. The Potters came again and Sunderland were desperately hanging on before Huth restored parity, getting the last touch to a ball Carew had appeared to flick on with his arm. The big German was then on hand to bag the winner deep into injury time, stealing round the back to guide Jermaine Pennant's free kick past Gordon.

 

Tottenham Hotspur 2 - Bolton Wanderers 1

Tottenham leave it late to beat Bolton in an incident-packed match at White Hart Lane. The game started with a bang when, in the fourth minute, Vedrun Corluka's prod goalwards was blacked by Kevin Davies's arm and Rafael van der Vaart converted the penalty. A minute later, referee Mark Clattenburg pointed to the spot again after Aaron Lennon had gone down under Sam Ricketts's challenge. Van der Vaart once more stepped up to bury the kick but Clattenburg had spotted encroachment and ordered a retake. This time the Ducthman skewed his effort wide of the left post. It looked as if Spurs were going to be made to pay, when Daniel Sturridge's low shot squirmed under Huerelho Gomes ten minutes into the second half. Clattenburg then waved away appeals for a Bolton penalty, after Gary Cahill made the most of contact from Benoit Assou-Ekotto. With time running out, the home side grabbed all three points when Niko Kranjcar collected Roman Pavlyuchenko's lay off before burying a shot past Jussi Jaaskelainen.

 

West Ham United 0 - Birmingham City 1

Birmingham pick up a massive three points at Upton Park. West ham return to the bottom of the table but started quite well, albeit without unduly troubling Ben Foster in the Blues' goal. Chances were at a premium for both sides but, twenty minutes into the second half, substitiute Sebastian Larsson's free-kick was met by the head of Nikola Zigic for the opener. The Hammers showed no lack of will but, despite debutant Demba Ba striking the post shortly after coming on, continued to struggle to make chances. It continues to be extraordinarily tight, down towards the dead men.

 

Wigan Athletic 4 - Blackburn Rovers 3

Wigan recover from a goal down to edge Blackburn in an exciting encounter at the DW Stadium. Rovers dominated the early stages and took the lead after twenty minutes when Jason Roberts converted Brett Emerton's low cross at the near post. The goal brought to the Latics to life and they were level ten minutes before the break, with James McCarthy turning in the rebound after Paul Robinson had beaten away Emerson Boyce's fierce drive. Five minutes after the break and the home side were ahead, Hugo Rodallega nipping in to make the most of a communication problem between Robinson and Cristopher Samba to turn the ball into the empty net. McCarthy then made it three with a slick piece of ball juggling in the Blackburn box before steering a let-footed shot into teh corner. Samba atoned for his earlier error by reducing the deficit on fifty-eight minutes, heading in Morten Gamst Pedersen's corner. Wigan restored their two goal lead within ten minutes, however, Ben Watson scoring from the spot after Michel Salgado had taken out Mohamed Diame in the box. Blackburn were then awarded a spot kick of their own with nine minutes left, David Dunn picking himself up to convert after Boyce had brought him down, but they were unable to find a fourth as Athletic held on for the win.

 

Wolverhampton Wanderers 2 - Manchester United 1

Manchester United's unbeaten run comes to an end at Molineux. The league leaders were ahead inside four minutes, with Nani turning George Elokobi before firing in a shot inside the near post. Wanderers have proved a tough proposition for the leading sides at home this season, though, and they were back on terms on ten minutes. With the visitors' defence apparently asleep,Matt Jarvis whipped in a cross from a short corner routine and Elokobi powered a header into the net. The goal put some wind into Wolves's sails and they slowly took control of the game. Five minutes before the break, Kevin Doyle just beat Elokobi to Nenad Milijas's free kick and guided his header beyond Edwin van der Sar to put his side ahead. The Red Devils failed to rally in the second half and the Black Country outfit held on for a win that puts them right back in touch with safety.