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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Twenty-One.... Round Twenty.... Round Nineteen.... Round Eighteen.... Round Seventeen.... Round Sixteen

A Good Round For United

 

Arsenal 0 - Manchester City 0

Manchester City turn up at the Emirates' looking for a goalless draw and get it. Arsenal made nearly all of the running and Robin van Persie was unlucky to see his fierce drive come back off the foot of the post. Cesc Fabregas was the next to hit the woodwork when his drive beat Joe Hart all ends up only to come off the inside of the upright, with the offside Theo Walcott then smashing the follow-up against the opposite post. For the visitors, Carlos Tevez was putting in a typically hard-working shift but the Argentine was largely deprived of service and was reduced to the odd snapshot on the break. Hart pulled off an outstanding diving stop to deny van Persie again on the hour and the game finished ten a side, after Bacary Sagna and, very harshly, Pablo Zabaleta saw red after a bout of antler-clashing on the sideline.

 

Aston Villa 0 - Sunderland 1

Aston Villa drop into the relegation zone after a home defeat to Sunderland. A poor first half was only enlivened by Emile Heskey's contender for miss of the season, as the former England striker managed to hit the bar from less than three yards out. Things improved after the break and Steed Malbranque failed to hit the target with his volley under pressure from James Collins, before the Welshman did well to block a Darren Bent effort on the line after having been robbed by the frontman. Heskey was then given his marching orders for pushing away a chuntering Jordan Henderson, with referee Peter Walton deciding it was violent conduct. Villa were made to pay with ten minutes left, with Phil Bardsley the unlikely match winner as his low drive from outside the area zipped through the crowd and into the bottom corner. There was still time for Boudewijn Zenden to see red for one of the harshest sendings-off of the season but under fire manager Gerard Houllier's side weren't able to capitalise.

 

Blackburn Rovers 3 - Liverpool 1

The pressure mounts for Roy Hodgson as Liverpool are comprehensively beaten at Ewood Park. The Reds briefly flickered in a promising opening five minutes but Rovers looked dangerous when they broke forward and went on to take the lead just after the half-hour: Martin Olsson putting an accomplished finish between Pepe Reina's legs after being played in by Mame Biram Diouf's astute through ball. The visitors' fragile confidence dissipated and it was two just six minutes later, as Benjani Mwauwari all-too-easily turned the lumbering Sotirios Kyrgiakos before thrashing a finish high into the net. The third came ten minutes after half-time, with Benjani again the goalscorer, tapping in Junior Hoilett's cross after the Canadian had skinned Martin Skrtel down the left. Steven Gerrard gave his side some hope, when thropping in the loose ball after Fernando Torres's half-hearted effort had come back off Ryan Nelsen, but then spurned the chance of putting some real pressure on when he wafted a penalty over the bar with six minutes left. His side now find themselves just five points off the bottom.

 

Blackpool 1 - Birmingham City 2

Birmingham register a much-needed win at Blackpool that takes them back out of the bottom three. In a game full of chances, only the paucity of talent in the strikers on show prevented this becoming a goalfest. With both Matt Derbyshire and Cameron Jerome guilty of glaring misses and Matt Phillips denied by Ben Foster, Stephen Crainey decided to liven things up by playing a suicidal ball across his own box that was gratefully intercepted and converted by Alexander Hleb. The Seasiders could have been level immediately had Phillips got decent contact on his header but the youngster could only glance his effort wide. Blackpool showed strongly at the start of the second period and Foster had to parry a curling Charlie Adams effort before being able to make a much more comfortable save to keep out DJ Campbell. At the other end, Jerome and then Sebastien Larsson struck the woodwork and paid the price when Campbell volleyed in Gary Taylor-Fletcher's nod back at the other end. It was then Adam's turn to be denied by the frame of the goal, after a powerful run. As the minutes ticked by, a draw looked the most likely - and fairest - result but, with a minute to go, Roger Johnson got on the end of Jean Beausejour's free-kick and Scott Dann tonked home.

 

Bolton Wanderers 1 - Wigan Athletic 1

Bolton's sticky patch continues as they are held at home by a game Wigan. The Latics lost on-loan youngster Tom Cleverley with a hamstring injury after just ten minutes but were hardly stretched by their hosts in a dull first half. There was far more zip about Wanderers' play in the second period and Rodrigo Moreno put them ahead ten minutes in, stealing in onto Kevin Davies's lay-off before beating Chris Kirkland. The unlucky keeper was then stretchered off after coming off worse in a collision with Johan Elmander, with the vetaran Mike Pollitt taking his place. With then minutes remaining, Wigan were level. Ron Stam picked up the ball out on the left on the half-way line and embarked on a swashbuckling run, exchanging passes twice before tucking away Steven Gohouri's pass at the far post. Stung, the Trotters launched an all-out assault on the away goal but found Pollitt in unbeatable form and Roberto Martinez's side were able to hold out for a point that leaves them in the drop zone only by dint of goal difference.

 

Everton 2 - Tottenham Hotspur 1

Everton end Tottenham's unbeaten run with a good win at Goodison. In the absence of Tim Cahill in Qatar, David Moyes was finally forced to field a couple of his strikers and Luis Saha took his opportunity when drilling a low shot into the net after only three minutes. Just eight minutes later and parity was restored, as Rafael van der Vaart arrived late to head past Tim Howard after Peter Crouch had knocked Alan Hutton's long pass across the area. Chances continued to come and go and Crouch saw an effort correctly ruled out for offside. Seamus Coleman, giving Benoit Assou-Ekotto a torrid time down the right, then passed up a chance to give his side the lead when he could only pussycat the ball to Huerelho Gomes after surging into the area. The young Irishman made amends with fifteen mijnutes left, however, when he diven to head home after Gomes could only parry Saha's stinging effort up into the air.

 

Fulham 3 - West Bromwich Albion 0

Fulham post a comfortable home win as an injury-ravaged West Brom struggle to arrest their recent slide. The Cottagers had the first chance of the game, with Diomansy Kamara forcing a good low stop from Scott Carson, before the Baggies hit back, with Peter Odemwingie and Jerome Thomas bringing early saves from David Stockdale. When Marek Cech was forced off after a nasty challenge from John Pantsil, the makeshift Albion defence suddenly looked vulnerable but it still took a ricket from Carson to gift Fulham the lead, as the keeper watched Simon Davies's peppery drive pass staight through him. Ten minutes after half time and Clint Dempsey doubled his side's lead when heading home Davies's corner. Another ten minutes after that and Brede Hangeland leapt highest to nod in another Davies corner and the game was all-but over. After having started the season so brightly, five losses on the spin has left the Baggies perched precariously just above the relegation zone.

 

Manchester United 2 - Stoke City 1

Manchester United prove to be the round's big winners as a home defeat of Stoke puts them two points clear with games in hand. United extend their unbeaten start to the season to twenty games, despite having not looked entirely convincing along the way, and they were set on their way just before the half-hour when Javier Hernandez improvised a clever finish to convert Nani's right-wing cross. The Potters, at this stage, were looking in danger of going out with a whimper but they regrouped at half-time and came out looking far more purposeful and ambitious. Their deserved equaliser came after five minutes, with Dean Whitehead timing his arrival in the area perfectly to head in Tuncay Sanli's cross. The Red Devils responded strongly and retook the lead ten minutes later when Nani collected Hernandez's short pass before turning and whistling a left-footed shot beyond the despairing dive of Asmir Begovic. City tried to come again but to no avail and the title is starting to look like United's to lose.

 

Newcastle United 5 - West Ham United 0

The Hammers cop a right royal shellacking at St. James's as Newcastle make it two wins on the trot. The shaky-looking West Ham rearguard managed to hold out for eighteen minutes before Leon Best scored his first Premier League goal, whipping Joey Barton's pinpoint pass beyond Robert Green. His second followed twenty minutes later when he turned home Peter Lovenkrands's pass at the far post. With the Eastenders at sixes and sevens it was three before half time, as Kevin Nolan found himself in the right place to return the ball first-time after James Tomkins had failed to put any distance on his attempted clearance. Best completed his hat-trick on the hour mark, spanking home from the edge of the area after Tomkins and Danny Gabbidon had been bamboozled by Nolan's delicate flick. Lovenkrands provided the fifth just three minutes later, turning home Barton's cross from close range. Nile Ranger should have made things worse for the visitors, only to find some cheeky pixie had apparently swapped his feet onto the wrong legs in the middle of the night, resulting in his effort from five yards scudding well wide of the post and half-way to the Bigg Market. By that stage the home support were in expansive and forgiving mood, however, and Avram Grant needs to hope the Gollivans are on a warm and fuzzy, as well.

 

Wolverhampton Wanderers 1 - Chelsea 0

Wolves climb out of the bottom three with a hard-fought win against the out-of-form Chelsea. Nothing has been going right for the defending champions in recent weeks, as what proved to be winning goal demonstrated. With six minutes on the clock, Ashley Cole failed to cut out Stephen Hunt's near post corner and the ball bounced up onto the shin of the unfortunate Jose Bosingwa and deflected into the net. The Blues' attempts to claw their way back into contention were stifled by an impressively-committed performance from the home side, determined to be first to every loose ball and deny their opponents time. When Chelsea did break through, Wayne Hennesey pulled off an excellent stop with his feet to keep out Salomon Kalou before the Ivorian then shot wide when he should have done better after Frank Lampard's backheel had sent him away. A rasping Didier Drogba effort came back off the post and Florent Malouda also missed the target after outmuscling Christophe Berra but that was the extent of the Chelsea threat and Mick McCarthy's side held on. It's a tight year in the league, this year: No side currently below fourth-placed Tottenham looks entirely safe from the drop.