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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Nineteen.... Round Eighteen.... Round Seventeen.... Round Sixteen.... Round Fifteen

Staring At The Snood Boys

 

Birmingham City 1 - Manchester United 1

Manchester United stay top of the table despite conceding a late equaliser at Birmingham. The Red Devils found City in typically determined mood and struggled to find a way through their hosts' well-drilled defence. As close as the league leaders came to opening the scoring in the first half was when Ben Foster was forced to tip over Ryan Giggs's wayward cross, whilst Birmingham showed very little attacking threat at all. The Blues should well have taken the lead early in the second period, only for Craig Gardner to hit his effort straight at Edwin van der Sar following a sequence of ricochets in the box, and it was the away side who eventually broke the deadlock - Dimitar Berbatov collecting Darron Gibson's pass before finding the corner of the net - just before the hour. The Bulgarian then hit the woodwork but his side were denied a win a minute from time, when Lee Bowyer got the benefit of the linesman's doubt to steer the ball home after Nicola Zigic had outfought Rio Ferdinand to a high ball. United claimed the striker had used his arm to bring the ball down but referee Lee Mason was having none of it and the draw means the Mancunians have now won only one from eight games away from Old Trafford this season.

 

Chelsea 1 - Bolton Wanderers 0

Chelsea finally end their winless won with a narrow victory at home to Bolton. The Blues' travails have been well-documented and the side struggled to find any cohesion during a first half in which the visitors looked the more dangerous side. John Terry was called on to make a handful of crucial interceptions as the Trotters made full use of their hosts' nervous display and more dropped points looked on the cards as the teams headed in for the interval. Chelsea came out for the second half looking far more determined, however, and Didier Drogba was thwarted from giving his side the lead from Frank Lampard's sumptuous through ball by the slightest of fingertip touches by Jussi Jaaskelainen. The Ivorian, who's chief contribution to the opening forty-five minutes was in skanking a free-kick out for a throw-in, was involved again when the deadlock was broken on the hour. Michael Essien burst through a couple of challenges in midfield before setting Drogba away down the right. With the Bolton defence appealing for offside, the striker squared the ball for Florent Malouda to side-foot home his eighth goal of the season. It may prove to be the most important one yet.

 

Liverpool 0 - Wolverhampton Wanderers 1

The pressure mounts for Roy Hodgson as Liverpool are convincingly beaten at home by Wolves. Wanderers survived an early scare when Raul Meireles failed to muster any venom in his shot when sent through on goal but were otherwise untroubled during a largely forgettable first half. David Ngog then hooked a chance wide at the start of the second period before Ronald Zubar forced Pepe Reina into his first meaningful action of the night. On fifty-six minutes, the away side were ahead when makeshift striker Stephen Ward beat Reina to the ball after Martin Skrtel and Sotirios Kyrgiakos had all-too-easily been dissected by Sylvan Ebanks-Blake's pass. Glen Johnson then pulled off a good late block to stop Kevin Foley making it two, before Skrtel saw his late header ruled out with half-a-dozen Reds players falling foul of Wolves' free-kick offside routine. Mick McCarthy's side are very much back in touch with survival, whilst it'd be a very brave bookie offering long odds on Hodgson to survive until the summer.

 

Manchester City 4 - Aston Villa 0

City make a statement of intent in dismantling Aston Villa at Eastlands. The Sky Blues were out of the blocks quickly once more and Mario Balotelli put them ahead from the spot on eight minutes, after the striker had been fouled in the area by Eric Lichaj. Five minutes later and Joleon Lescott headed his side further ahead from Adam Johnson's corner, despite the best efforts of Barry Bannan on the line. It was three before the half-hour was up, with the irrepressible David Silva weaving his way into the Villa area before taking a shot Brad Friedel could only parry into the path of Balotelli, who made no mistake. Villa briefly made a fist of things; Marc Albrighton forcing a good stop out of Joe Hart, with Joleon Lescott pulling off a great block to prevent Nigel Reo-Coker reaching the loose ball, but they found themselve sfour down ten minutes into the second half. Johnson's trickery on the ball took him past Albrighton in the visitors' area and the winger instinctively flicked out a leg to bring the City man down. Balotelli again produced a nerveless spot kick to complete his hat-trick. The win brings City level on points with their cross-town rivals (albeit having played two games more), whilst Gerard Houllier's side now find themselves just a point outside the drop zone.

 

Stoke City 0 - Fulham 2

Fulham pull off the shock of the round by chalking up a first away win since Twiggy was walking the catwalk at the Britannia. With Mark Hughes's striking options still limited, the under-pressure manager reshuffled his defence - bringing in Chris Baird for Carlos Salcido - and it looked a masterstroke when Baird hammered his side ahead on four minutes, spanking the ball in from the edge of the area after Robert Huth had headed away Simon Davies's cross. Six minutes later and the full-back was at it again, whistling a shot low into the bottom corner from Andrew Johnson's short free-kick. It took Stoke a while to respond but Danny Murphy was forced into a goalline clearance to keep out Ryan Shawcross at the end of the first half to presage what was to come. The Cottagers proved a resilient proposition, however, and a couple of optimistic penalty shouts for handball were as close as the Potters came to getting back in the game. The win may just have earned Hughes some breathing space, as it puts Fulham back in touch with the cluster of sides in mid-table.

 

Sunderland 0 - Blackpool 2

The Seasiders make the most of some profligate Sunderland finishing to pick up another impressive win on the road. Darren Bent, Danny Wellbeck and Asamoah Gyan each missed twice in front of goal when they could well have done better, whilst Jordan Henderson saw Richard Kingson escape when he funbled the midfielder's shot round the post. Blackpool, always willing to take the game to the opposition where they can, maintained a threat of their own but it was still against the run of play when they took the lead five minutes into the second half. Neal Eardley's cross was flicked on by Ian Evatt and DJ Campbell converted from ten yards. The Seasiders narrowly missed taking a two-goal lead, with Craig Cathcart guilty of a poor miss from a free header, but it was the home side who piled forward and looked the likelier side to find the net. It wasn't to be their night, though, and a combination of some great last-ditch defending, the woodwork and a lack of luck successfully kept Bent and company out. Campbell smashed in Matt Phillips's cross via the bar for a second in injury time and his side continue to beat the odds.

 

Tottenham Hotspur 2 - Newcastle United 0

Spurs maintain momentum with a second ten-man victory in a week to see off Newcastle. Tottenham, as is their wont, went at their visitors from the first whistle but found the Newcastle defence in no mood to roll over. Some fine last-ditch defending and a great save by Tim Krul to deny Roman Pavlyuchenko. The opener finally came twelve minutes into the second half when Aaron Lennon collected Younes Kaboul's cross-field ball and cut inside the otherwise solid James Perch before beating Krul with a shot that clipped off the full back on its way through. The Londoners then suffered a setback with twenty-five minutes left when Kaboul was sent to the changing room after thrusting his head into the face of Cheik Tiote but United failed to capitalise on their numerical superiority. Gareth Bale made the game safe with ten minutes left, racing away down the left onto Luka Modric's pass and tricking some space outside Danny Simpson and hammering a shot into the bottom corner. With all the teams at the drop dropping points this year, hope is beginning to flicker at White Hart Lane of a first league title in fifty years.

 

West Bromwich Albion 1 - Blackburn Rovers 3

Rovers arrest their recent slide with a good away win at West Bromwich Albion. The away side made the best of all possible starts when Nikola Kalinic ran onto Morten Gamst Pedersen's dinked through ball to put them ahead with only three minutes on the clock. In a lively start, the Baggies were almost back on terms immediately, when Paul Robinson pulled off a good save to tip Graham Dorrans's effort round the post, whilst Kalinic saw a curling effort just miss the target. Just after the quarter-hour, the home side were back in it, with Jerome Thomas converting Somen Tchoyi's far-post cross after James Morrison had charged through the Blackburn defence. Rovers regained their lead eight minutes into the second period, with the Albion defence asleep to allow Ryan Nelsen to nod back Pedersen's free-kick for Kalinic to get his second. The backline was again at fault nine minutes later, gifting El Hadj Diouf all the time he needed to land his cross on Mame Biran Diouf's head after a short corner. Kalinic then saw red for an appalling challenge on Paul Scharner and the Baggies duly took control of the game. Simon Cox came close and Scharner saw a header come back off the woodwork but, when Gabriel Tamas was sent off for bringing down Mame Diouf, the game ran away from them and they have now suffered three defeats on the spin.

 

West Ham United 1 - Everton 1

Everton salvage a draw at Upton Park as things start to get very congested toward the wrong end of the table. The Toffees, starting without a recognised striker but with three on the bench, settled slightly the quicker and Sylvain Distin should perhaps have done better than drag his effort beyond the far post after being put in by Seamus Coleman. On sixteen minutes, it was the home side who took the lead after the Merseysiders failed to deal with a straight-forward high cross into the area. The ball eventually fell for Robert Kovac, who's acrobatic effort was defelcted past Tim Howard by the unlucky Tony Hibbert. David Moyes's side hadn't really deserved to be behind and they were back on level terms three minutes before half-time, with Coleman sweeping in Tim Cahill's pass at the far post. The second period was light on goal-mouth action but substitute Carlton Cole fluffed his lines after being found by Freddie Sears and Robert Green was called into action to keep out efforts from Cahill and Marouane Fellaini. Both sides, on reflection, will probably be satisfied with the draw.

 

Wigan Athletic 2 - Arsenal 2

Arsenal are held by ten-man Wigan at the DW Stadium as their London rivals gain on them. The much-changed Londoners looked out of sorts in the early stages and Wigan, through Charles N'Zogbia and Hugo Rodallega especially, went at them. It was N'Zogbia who made the opener on eighteen minutes, cutting in between Abou Diaby and Laurent Koscielny and hitting the ground when the latter, unbalanced, couldn't get his leg out of the way. Distasteful as it was, it was a penalty and Ben Watson crashed it past Lukasz Fabianski. The Latics continued to look the better side but the Gunners were level five minutes before the break when Andrei Arshavin smacked a wonderful volley into the corner of the net after Ali Al Habsi had kept out Nicklas Bendtner. The Dane then completed the turnaround just before half-time when he poked home Arshavin's pass. Wigan hadn't deserved to be behind and things got worse for them with twelve minutes left when N'Zogbia was shown red after dipping his head into Jack Wilshire's face during a spat. In a strong showing of character, however, they were level within three minutes as Sebastien Squillaci, pressured by Gary Cahill, headed Rodallega's nod-back past Fabianski. The point lifts them back out of the relegation zone at Fulham's expense.