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"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Euro 2008 Round 4.... Euro 2008 Round 3.... Euro 2008 Round 2

Here we go, Here we go, Here we go...

Arsenal 1  -  West Bromwich Albion 0

Samir Nasri’s fourth-minute debut goal was enough to see Arsenal win their opening game against last season’s Championship winners. It wasn’t the formality some may have expected,. However the Baggies perhaps a little unfortunate to come away empty-handed after a decent second-half recovery. It’s hard to know how to judge this slightly patched-up Arsenal side or, indeed, either their opponents, on this showing. But we know the Gunners will be glad enough for the three points.

 

Aston Villa 4  -  Manchester City 2 

Quite a bizarre game, this one. The match exploded into life two minutes into the second half and  was lit up by Gabriel Agbonlahor’s seven-minute hat-trick. John Carew got Villa underway when banging home a powerful header from Ashley Young’s cross, but City got back in the game after a comical mix-up between new boys Luke Young and Nickey Shorey finished with Michael Johnson being brought down in the box. Elano stuck away the penalty with some aplomb. Any hopes City may have had of getting anything from the game, disappeared in a seven-minute blast from the young Villa striker. His first came from a right-foot volley from Curtis Davies’ return across goal from a corner, before he headed his second from a Gareth Barry cross and then completed his hat-trick when put through on goal from another Barry pass. Vedrun Corluka pulled a goal back late on after a penalty area scramble but, by then, it was too late to really matter (unless you had 4-1 down as the right result, of course).

 

Bolton Wanderers 3  -  Stoke City 1

Bolton got their season underway with a fairly routine dismantling of new boys Stoke City. There’s a chance Stoke’s industrial style will trouble some of the division’s more cultured outfits, but they were up against the masters of in-your-face this weekend and duly came off second best. There looked to be an element of fortune about the first goal, however, when Gretar Steinsson’s attempted cross crashed in off the far post past a surprised Thomas Sorensen. It may have been intentional and I’m doing the full-back a disservice but they all count, anyway, so that hardly matters. The Trotters then extended their lead just before the break when, first, Kevin Davies looped a back header over the stranded Sorensen before record-signing Johan Elmander opened his account with a header from Joey O’Brien’s free-kick. Ricardo Fuller pulled a consolation goal back right at the death but it was Bolton’s day.

 

Chelsea 4  -  Portsmouth 0

Chelsea strolled to a convincing win against the FA Cup holders. Joe Cole started the rout in the twelfth minute when latching onto Michael Ballack’s deft through ball and finishing inside David James’s far post. A scant quarter of an hour later, it was two, after Deco managed to chip Jose Bosingwa’s deep cross back over the stranded James for Nicolas Anelka to nod home from pretty-much on the goal-line. With Frank Lampard able to convert a penalty (somewhat harshly awarded against Sylvain Distin for handball) on the stroke of half time, last year’s runners-up had the game in the bag before the break. With Portsmouth unable to get to grips with the Chelsea midfield the second half continued where the first had left off. Notwithstanding the home side were unable to stretch their lead until James palmed in Deco’s long-range effort a couple of minutes before the end.

 

Everton 2  -  Blackburn Rovers 3

A lively encounter at Goodison saw Paul Ince get his Premiership management career off to a winning start at the expense of a stretched Toffees side. David Dunn got the visitors off the mark with a spectacular effort from distance after leaving Phil Jagielka on his backside with a nifty turn. Mikel Arteta then equalized for Everton when swinging a free kick from the left into Paul Robinson’s near top corner to add another clip to the portly custodian’s ever-increasing howlers video store. Everton then briefly took the lead when Ayegbini Yakubu planted a header from Arteta’s cross past the Blackburn keeper, only to see Joleon Lescott completely lose Roque Santa Cruz in the area two minutes later who has lost none of his finishing instinct from last year. With the game looking to be headed for a draw, Ryan Nelson got up to head Stephen Warnock’s free-kick against the post and Andre Ooijer stole in to snatch all three points for the visitors.

 

Hull City 2  -  Fulham 1

It’s been a long, long wait for Hull City but they managed to get their first season in the top flight underway after coming from behind against Fulham. Winger Seol Ki-Hyeon gave the Cottagers the lead when angling a fine header past Boaz Myhill from Jimmy Bullard’s cross, after only eight minutes. Fourteen minutes later, the Tigers were level, after new signing Geovanni strolled through the Fulham midfield before planting a long-range effort past Mark Schwartzer. Nine minutes before the end, Hull bagged a deserved winner after substitutes Craig Fagan and Caleb Folan combined, the former robbing a careless Paul Konchesky and setting the latter up for the score.

 

Manchester United 1  -  Newcastle United 1

Utnited’s title defence got off to a slow start as a rejuvenated Newcastle took a fully-deserved point away from Old Trafford. Obafemi Martins gave Kevin Keegan’s side the lead when heading home James Milner’s corner. But the hosts replied within two minutes when Darren Fletcher stole in to finish first-time past Shay Given. Chances came and went for both sides, but wayward finishing, some good goalkeeping and the woodwork ensured the game finished all square.

 

Middlesbrough 2  -  Tottenham Hotspur 1

Tottenham’s latest attempt to burst into the Big Four TM got off to a stuttering start as they were well beaten by a Middlesbrough side on the up. With want-away striker Dimitar Berbatov starting on the bench, Spurs were second-best throughout and went behind on seventy-one minutes when David Wheater followed up Alves’ attempt to score. Mido, slimmed down to a comparatively svelte sixteen stone (or thereabouts), and on for Alves, turned home a second four minutes before the end before Robert Huth put through an own goal to flatter the visitors.

 

Sunderland 0  -  Liverpool 1

Fernando Torres underlined his importance to Liverpool when, despite being anonymous for much of the game, he took Xabi Alonso’s pass before whupping home a swerving drive from distance to nick the game for the visitors late on. Undeserved it may have been, but perhaps this time it will be Liverpool’s year after all.

 

West Ham United 2  -  Wigan Athletic 1

When Dean Ashton had made it two nil within the first ten minutes, it looked as if this match could end up being a disaster for Wigan, only for the Latics to fight their way back and have the Hammers hanging on after Amr Zaki (the best striker in the world, apparently) set up a lively second half. Unfortunately for the visitors, they just came up a little short not helped by some dubious finishing from the same player late on.