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"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 9.... Week 8.... Week 7.... Week 6.... Week 5.... Week 4

Midweek thrills n' spills ...

 

Arsenal 4 - Tottenham Hotspur 4

Oh, my giddy aunt. In a topsy-turvy game, Tottenham came back from two down to snatch a point right at the death. David Bentley opened the scoring in a 100mph encounter with a drive over the stranded Manuel Almunia from fully forty yards and the game just got better after that. Mikael Silvestre nodded in his first goal for Arsenal five minutes before the break, with Tottenham keeper Gomes suspect, and captain William Gallas gave the Gunners the lead shortly after the restart when heading home Robin van Persie's free-kick. It was three-one just after the hour mark when Emmanuel Adebayor beat Alan Hutton to Samir Nasri's dink over the keeper and things were looking pretty bleak for Spurs. Hope was briefly rekindled when Darren Bent was on hand to turn home an Almunia fumble but seemed to be extinguished for good just a minute later when Van Persie lashed an effort past Gomes. As the Arsenal side started showboating, however, there was to be a sting in the tail. With just a minute to go, Jermaine Jenas took advantage of a Gael Clichy slip to charge into the Arsenal half and curl a left-footed effort into the net and, four minutes into injury time, Luka Modric's long-range volley crashed off the post and back to Aaron Lennon to poke home the equaliser and cap a remarkable game.

 

Aston Villa 3 - Blackburn Rovers 2

Villa move into the top four after seeing off Rovers. In a fairly scrappy first half, it was Blackburn who took the lead on the half-hour mark when full-back Stephen Warnock played a one-two with the back-in-favour Benni McCarthy before planting an assured finish past Brad Friedel. A tired-looking Villa got back on level terms on the stroke of half-time through a full-back of their own when Luke Young bundled home a loose ball after Nicky Shorey had slung in a right-wing cross. Just after the hour, the home side took the lead when Gareth Barry was on hand to poke home James Milner's pull-back brom the bye-line and made the game safe three minutes from the end when Gabriel Agbonlahor was able to race clear. There was just enough time left for Brett Emerton to curl home a great free-kick but that was scant consolation for Rovers, who's performance had deserved better.

 

Bolton Wanderers 0 - Everton 1

Everton's recovery starts at the expense of an out-of-form Bolton. Let's skip the first half - after all, the players appeared to - and join the action (or what of it there was) just before the ninety-minute mark. There he is, fifteen million pound man* Marouane Fellaini heading home Stephen Pienaar's cross to bag the three points for the Toffees. Game over.

* Of course, I'm talking sterling, here, not weight. The boy's no Mark Viduka.

 

Fulham 2 - Wigan Athletic 0

"Call me" Andrew Johnson gets his first goals in a Fulham shirt as Wigan's slump continues. Both sides went into this one without a win all month and it was the home side who started (and continued) the brighter. Fulham went ahead after just ten minutes when the offside Johnson stuck away Paul Konchesky's cross and would have been mightily-relieved to notice Roy Orbison's short-sighted younger brother on the touchline, wondering what to do with the small flag he appeared to be holding. There was to be no such controversy over the second goal, though, Johnson escaping his marker to latch onto Jimmy Bullard's quick free-kick and slide the ball under the advancing Chris Kirkland to seal a deserved Fulham win. A timely three points for Fulham but Wigan need to arrest their recent slide, and sharpish.

 

Hull City 0 - Chelsea 3

Hull's dream start to the season suffered what is really only a minor knock as they were outplayed by Chelsea at home. It took only three minutes for the Londoners to take the lead, Frank Lampard providing a sublime chipped finish over Boaz Myhill as the ball broke to him just outside the penalty area, and there was really only ever going to be one winner from then on. Chances came and went for Chelsea, with Hull lucky most of them fell to the beyond-woeful Florent Malouda, who appeared to be trying to shoot tin ducks off the stadium roof most of the game, though a decent Daniel Cousin's effort could have brought them level, only to smack back off Petr Cech's post. Just after the break, though, the second goal came after a crowd of City players stood chatting whilst watching Jose Bosingwa's upfield hoof bounced up invitingly for Nicolas Anelka to steal in and sweep home. A quarter of an hour before the end, it was three, when Malouda finally managed to hit the target to convert Ricardo Carvalho's deft left-wing cross, to ensure Chelsea's 100% away record remained intact and keep them in touch with the league leaders. Hull have bigger battles to fight and won't be too dismayed be the result as they prepare to go to Old Trafford.

 

Liverpool 1 - Portsmouth 0

A seventy-sixth penalty was enough to give Liverpool the three points to keep them out in front at the top of the table. Portsmouth's game-plan, under new boss Tony Adams, was evident from the start and they duly succeeded in stifling their hosts for most of this game, resolutely keeping the Liverpool strike-force at arm's length and largely limiting them to efforts from distance. Adams's plan, however, clearly didn't take account of an unfathomable rush of blood to the head of Papa Bouba Diop which saw the Senegalese midfielder apply two fists to a corner in what appeared to be a rather ungainly and amateurish Superman impression. Penalty. Steven Gerrard. One-nil. Three points. Benitez's side certainly appear to be living a slightly charmed life at the moment but it can't be denied they're doing the business.

 

Manchester United 2 - West Ham United 0

The defending champions fairly cruised to victory against a ragged-looking West Ham in this one. Cristiano Ronaldo bagged the opener after thirteen minutes when he slotted home Nani's cross and doubled his tally on the half-hour when he was on hand to convert after some fantastic skill from Dimitar Berbatov had bamboozled and beaten James Collins on the bye-line. Job done, the home side then switched to auto-pilot to play out the last hour. The Hammers really had very little in reply, clearly missing the ability of Carlton Cole to hold the ball up and Gianfranco Zola will need to go away and have a rethink, having seen his side comprehensively outplayed. Man United, meanwhile, look to have hit top gear and will be looking to make inroads at the top of the table over the next few games.

 

Middlesbrough 2 - Manchester City 0

City continue to be an up-and-down outfit and go down to a Boro side starting to put points on the board. This was an intriguing game of contrasting styles, with Middlesbrough's directness down the wings up against Man City's more intricate passing in the middle of the park with, unfortunately, the clash limiting clear-cut chances to a minimum until the game opened up a little more in the second half. With it looking increasingly-likely the first goal would prove decisive, it was the home side who finally got it when referee Lee Mason made an appalling call in giving a penalty against Daniel Sturridge for what looked to be the heinous crime of challenging David Wheater for the ball at the edge of the box. Alfonso Avez, obviously, wasn't concerned about the quality of the decision and took the chance to stick a precise penalty past Joe Hart. Gary O'Neil made it two at the end, after chasing down his own blocked cross, but the game had really been won with that decision.

 

Newcastle United 2 - West Bromwich Albion 1

Newcastle move out of the drop zone after a pantomime villain's penalty helps them see off the Baggies and register their first win for their new boss. There's little doubt the Magpies are showing more belief since Joe Kinnear took over and they came out of the blocks for this one looking like they meant business. A burst of early pressure resulted in Ryan Donk bringing down Shola Ameobi in the box and, twirling his curly moustachios with evil intent, it was - boo, hiss - Joey Barton who claimed penalty-taking rights to give his side the lead before charging away upfield, applying some form of self-administered cardio massage, I think. West Brom had a healthy amount of possession but couldn't convert it into chances and paid the price shortly before half-time when Obafemi Martins headed Newcastle's second from Habib Beye's cross. Albion came out for the second half intent on reducing the deficit and slowly took more control of the game as United started to look nervous. On sixty-four minutes, substitute Ishmael Miller latched onto Robert Koren's superb through ball to get them back in the game but it was to prove to be a mere consolation as their lack of a cutting edge continues to thwart them.

 

Stoke City 1 - Sunderland 0

Nothing pretty about this one as Stoke's patented formula does for the Black Cats. City outmuscled and outfought the visitors for the entire ninety minutes before Ricardo Fuller headed the winner they'd thoroughly deserved from a another monstrous Rory Delap throw. Sunderland simply weren't at the races. I've said here before Stoke may well find they need more than their current game to survive in the Premier League but as long as they're able to bully enough sides to the degree they did here, they may just have a chance. Roy Keane's side, on the other hand, might have felt a little trepidation on their way back to the changing room after this performance.