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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 11.... Week 10.... Week 9.... Week 8.... Week 7.... Week 6

Tighter than a gnat's chuff

 

Arsenal 2 - Manchester United 1

Arsenal haul themselves back into title contention with a win against Manchester United. Despite being without strike pairing Emmanuel Adebayor and Robin van Persie, the hosts took the game to the visitors and took a deserved lead when Samir Nasri's shot deflected in off Gary Neville on twenty-two minutes. They should have been more goals up by the break but for the woeful finishing of stand-in Nicklas Bendnter, though could even have gone behind on seventeen minutes when Wayne Rooney inexplicably wafted a chance into the stands when found in the area by Cristiano Ronaldo. It didn't take Arsenal long after the break to double their lead - Nasri firing home after Nicola Vidic left the gate open by following Theo Walcott's smart run across the line. United lacked their usual cutting edge, spurning a couple of half chances before Rafael da Silva brought them back into the game with a cracking left-foot volley but they never really looked like levelling matters and now find themselves eight points behind the league leaders.

 

Aston Villa 1 - Middlesbrough 2

Aston Villa passed up their second chance in a week of breaking into the top four as they went down at home to Middlesbrough. The visitirs took the lead just after the half-hour when Nicky Shorey got himself in all kinds of trouble in attempting to deal with Stuart Downing's diagonal ball. The ball fell kindly to Tuncay Sanli, who didn't hesitate in lashing the ball past the betrayed Brad Friedel from six yards. Villa came back into it and a bare three minutes later were level after Steve Sidwell headed home James Milner's hanging cross from the bye-line. Boro were good value on the day but must have thought their chance of taking all three points had gone after Alfonso Alves somehow poked the ball past an open goal from three yards with seven minutes left. However, within five minutes, Sidwell had a rush of blood to the head and, facing his own goal, underhit a back pass that played in Tuncay to drive home the winner. Boro move up to eighth whilst Villa remain stuck in fifth.

 

Blackburn Rovers 0 - Chelsea 2

Chelsea made it six wins out of six on the road to hold onto their slender lead at the top of the table. The Londoners started brightly, making light work of a torrential downpour that was leaving patches of surface water all over the park. They were finding Paul Robinson in outstanding form in the Blackburn goal, though, and needed a hefty slice of good fortune to take the lead five minutes before the end of the first half. Jose Bosingwa was given time to set himself and drive back a cleared corner, with his effort striking Nicolas Anelka on the knee and wrong-footing Robinson, who chose to stand and claim for handball rather than attempt to stop the trickling result that was getting held up in the mud. Rovers came out strongly for the second half, the introduction of Matt Derbyshre and a shift to 4-4-2 allowing them to play higher up the field but they were caught on sixty-eight minutes when a determined Frank Lampard played in Anelka once more and the in-form striker deftly lifted his effort over Robinson to make the game safe. Blackburn, along with a raft of other sides, are now just a point ouitside the relegation places.

 

Fulham 2 - Newcastle United 1

Fulham bounce back with a much-needed win to jab a stick into the spokes of Newcastle's recent renaissance. The Cottagers came out of the traps the quickest and took a deserved lead when Claudio Cacapa's half-hearted attempt at a clearing header struck the back of Fabio Coloccini and fell for Andrew Johnson to strike a crisp finish into the bottom left corner. United started the second half with much more purpose and drew level just before the hour when a rebound off Obafemi Martins's arse fell to the suspiciously-ahead-of-the-play Shola Ameobi to finish from about three yards. Parity was only to last ten minutes, though, as Johnson suckered Coloccini into a clumsy challenge in the Newcastle area to win his side a penalty that Danny Murphy stuck away confidently and a frantic end to the game failed to bring any more goals. Newcastle drop back into the bottom three as Fulham move up to tenth.

 

Hull City 0 - Bolton Wanderers 1

Bolton climb up to eleventh with a hard-won victory at Hull, who've now lost three on the bounce after their great start to the season. In a poor first-half, Marlon King came closest to opening the scoring, only to see his back-heeled effort come back off Jussi Jaaskelainen's woodwork. Just five minutes after half-time, it was the visitors who took the lead when Matt Taylor latched onto a half-cleared corner to fire home through a crowded penalty area. Hull came back at them but found Jasskelainen in sensational form to frustrate the home side and deliver only the second real setback of their campaign.

 

Liverpool 3 - West Bromwich Albion 0

Robbie Keane finally opened his league account for Liverpool as they quite comfortably saw off Albion. It took until just after the half-hour for Liverpool to take the lead, Keane finishing clinically after Steven Gerrard had rolled the ball into his path. Ten minutes later it was two, as Keane's first touch onto Fabio Aurelio's pass took him past the onrushing Scott Carson to finish into an empty net. The home side then came out after the break with a "job done" air about them and the game largely petered out as a spectacle until Alvaro Arbeloa curled in a fine effort in the final minute to underline Liverpool's supremacy in this game and send them back to the top of the table for twenty-four hours. The Baggies drop to bottom but with only three points separating them from tenth spot in what is now a fantastically-condensed table, will still be fancying their chances to move up the table ... and it's Chelsea next.

 

Manchester City 1 - Tottenham Hotspur 2

The rejuvenated Tottenham win again to heap the pressure on Mark Hughes at City. It was the hosts who took the lead, slightly against the run of play, when Robinho picked up Darius Vassell's rebound off the Teflon-coated Heurelho Gomes to finish into an unguarded net after a quarter of an hour. The Mancunians' joy was to be short-lived, however, as Gelson Fernandes saw red before the half-hour when handed a second yellow by Mike Dean after apparently under-estimating the slipperiness of the pitch. The sending-off changed the complexion of the game and Spurs got back level when Richard Dunne made a complete dog's breakfast of a routine clearance to allow Darren Bent in on goal for his fifth of the campaign. It was two for both Bent and Spurs just after the hour after Jermaine Jenas played the striker in to finish off the far post and Man City's resistance was effectively ended twenty minutes later when Dunne was also sent off for bringing down Bent when through on goal. Showing admirable consideration for fair play, Benoit Assou-Ekotto did his bit to even up the numbers in earning a second yellow for a rash slash at Pablo Zabaleta but the nine men of Manchester weren't able to make any better headway against ten men as they had against eleven. Spurs climb out of the relegation zone after picking up ten points from the last available twelve, whilst City suddenly find themselves just a point ahead of the North Londoners and with a Vote of Confidence in the offering.

 

Sunderland 1 - Portsmouth 2

A late Jermaine Defoe penalty brought Tony Adams his first win as Pompey boss as Sunderland were mugged at the Stadium of Light. Djibril Cisse put the Black Cats ahead after only three minutes, latching onto Andy Reid's through ball to tuck the ball through David James's legs, but was to be critically denied by the keeper several times before the game was out and his side paid the price late on. Keiron Richardson had also struck the post in a first half that was all Sunderland but the visitors struck back five minutes after the break when Nadir Belhadj found the bottom corner of the net from thirty-odd yards out. The goal breathed some life back into a Portsmouth side who'd previously looked short on belief and made for a much more evenly-contested second period. Chances came and went for both sides but the game looked to be headed for a draw when the marauding Glen Johnson burst into the penalty area, where he was upended by a clumsy challenge from El Hadji Diouf. Defoe made no mistake from the spot and Sunderland tumble into the drop zone. 

 

West Ham United 1 - Everton 3

An incredible four-minutes saw Everton blast three goals late on to snatch a game they'd been comfortably second-best in throughout. West Ham had dominated both the possession and chances since youngster Jack Collison came on to replace the injured Matthew Upson with only a quarter of an hour gone. The Hammers were running the Toffees ragged and only a good Tim Howard save to deny the willing Freddie Sears meant both sides went into the interval level. Twenty minutes after the restart and United got the goal they'd deserved when Scott Parker deftly flicked Craig Bellamy's ball back into the path of Collison to curl a sweet effort into the top corner. With seven minutes left, though, the game was turned on its head. First, Joleon Lescott made the most of some appalling West Ham defending to nod home Louis Saha's cross before the Frenchman gave his side the lead just two minutes later when flicking home Victor Anichebe's pass. Insult was added to injury within a further two minutes when Julien Faubert carelessly gave the back back to Saha to curl his second inside the far post from distance and West Ham were shellshocked. Truly bonkers.

 

Wigan Athletic 0 - Stoke City 0

A game as woeful as the scoreline suggests, at least until the last half an hour when both sides finally discovered a little urgency. Wigan were doing virtually all the running, with City apparently content to come away from this one with a point, and it was Athletic who came closest to a goal, though in the same sense of "close" we use when talking about the proximity of Alpha Centauri to our solar system. Nuff said.