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"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 17.... Week 16.... Week 15.... Week 14.... Week 13.... Week 12

The Spectre of Relegation Creeps Up the Table...

 

Arsenal 1 - Liverpool 1

Two stunning finishes to make Charlie Hughes proud ensure the weekend's top-of-the-table clash finishes all square. Arsenal had struggled a little to get into their groove early on but eventually settled and took the lead on twenty-four minutes when Robin van Persie did exceptionally well to bring Samir Nasri's long ball under control before turning Jamie Carragher and crashing a right-foot effort inside Pepe Reina's near post. With chances remaining scarce, it was another Route One effort that brought the visitors their equaliser. Dan Agger's hopeful punt out of defence caught the Arsenal back-line static and too high up the pitch and Robbie Keane won the race to half-volley an unstoppable effort into the roof of Manuel Almnuia's net. Emmanuel Adebayor then saw red a quarter hour into the second half for his second over-the-top stamp of the game but Liverpool's unwillingness to commit themselves meant they were unable to take advantage of their numerical superiority and it was actually the hosts who looked marginally the more dangerous as the game played out. On balance, both teams are unlikely to be disappointed with the result, though won't be particularly happy, either.

 

Blackburn Robers 3 - Stoke City 0

Big Sam returns in style as Rovers put themselves in touch with safety by dismantling Stoke. It only took ten minutes for Blackburn to take the lead. Ibrahim Sonko's rash, late, clumsy challenge on Morten Gamst Pedersen was probably the most clear-cut penalty you'll see all season and Benni McCarthy made no mistake from the spot. There weren't even twenty minutes on the clock before the home side were able to double their lead, when Jason Roberts made the most of Ryan Shawcross's Dog-and-Duck-ism of an attempted clearance to convert from four yards. A scant ten minutes more and Allardyce's charges were already out of sight - McCarthy tapping home after stand-in keeper Steve Simonsen could only parry Roberts's effort back out into play. Job done, Rovers were able to play out the game without pressure but Stoke gaffer Tony Pulis wil be incandescent with his side's defending. They'll have to do better than this if the're to avoid throwing away all that good work earlier on in the season.

 

Bolton Wanderers 2 - Portsmouth 1

Bolton's steady climb up the table continues at the expense of a Pompey side struggling for any kind of consistent form. It only took three minutes for Wanderers to win this game. In the first minute, Matthew Taylor was able to lift the ball over his marker before driving an effort more-or-less through the flailing David James. Barely two minutes later and Taylor was again afforded the freedom of the Portsmouth area to nod back across to the incoming Ricardo Gardner to spank home and send the Reebok crowd into raptures. Just as a thorough mauling looked on the cards, though, the Hampshire side got back into the game when Peter Crouch headed home Nico Kranjcar's deft cross off the outside of his boot. Any kind of return for Pompey would have been a travesty, however, and, though chances continued to come and go in an open and entertaining game, it was Gary Megson's side who ran out winners to move to ninth in the table.

 

Everton 0 - Chelsea 0

Ten-man Chelsea hang on to maintain their unbeaten away record in a grim old game at Goodison. Everton started a busy but largely toothless match the better but Chelsea slowly got back into the game as the first half wore on. They were to be stymied in their ambition ten minutes before the break, though, when skipper John Terry was sent off. He was perhaps a little unlucky referee Phil Dowd deemed the centre-back's desperate lunge worthy of a straight red but the England captain nonetheless launched poor Leon Osman over the West Stand so can't really complain too much. Buoyed both by the sending off and their visitors' apparent inability to find a team-mate in the final third, Everton had by far the better of the remainder of the ninety minutes but let themselves down with some poor-quality final balls of their own. Stephen Pienaar had the ball in the Chelsea net with five minutes to go but, having kicked the ball out of the keeper's hands whilst standing in an offside position, would have needed Stuart Atwell in charge to have had a chance of getting away with it. All in all, a thoroughly poor advert for Monday night football and I feel for those Chelsea supporters who made the trip. Mixed feelings, perhaps, for the Everton fans ... a mix of disappointment at not being able to win this one and chagrin that the point means their city neighbours are this year's "Mistletoe And Wine".

 

Fulham 3 - Middlesbrough 0

Fulham make it seven unbeaten as they comprehensively beat Boro at Craven Cottage. The Londoners had enjoyed the better of the first half without being able to make the breakthrough but finally took the lead four minutes before half time. Bobby Zamora did well to make some space for himself in the Boro box and when Ross Turnbull parried his effort, Jimmy Bullard was on hand to sweep the ball into the top corner. The visitors, in the meantime, had created a couple of half-chances but only really had Julio Arca's horror challenge on Andrew Johnson to hold up as their main contribution to the contest. Five minutes after the restart and things went from bad to worse for Gareth Southgate's side when Tony McMahon was adjudged to have willfully handled a ricocheting ball coming back to him at speed from about six inches away. Danny Murphy stepped up gratefully to convert the penalty. Murphy was then involved in Fulham's third when he found Clint Dempsey in space to drive into the far corner and make the game thoroughly safe. Boro now find themselves in danger of being sucked back into the mire, whilst Fulham are looking solid.

 

Hull City 1 - Sunderland 4

The managerless Black Cats make it eight from their last two games, whilst Hull continue to do their best work away from home. Sunderland took the lead in this one on ten minutes when Steed Malbranque lashed in a screamer from Danny Collins's pass. City are nothing if not resilient, however, and were back on level terms within ten minutes through Nicky Barmby, when the aging midfielder was in the right place to poke home after Michael Turner had once again caused chaos in an opposition box. It was the cue for a short period of pressure from the hosts and Sunderland would have been happy to have a chance to re-group at the interval. Catetaker Ricky Sbragia seemed to earn his corn, alright, as the Mackems came out after the break with their tails up. It took a while for their second-half dominance to pay off and when it did, it owed a lot to a huge slice of luck as Keiron Richardson's wayward effort cannoned home off Kemal Zayette, but the goal was certainly deserved. Kenwyne Jones and Djibril Cisse both then notched in the final minutes, after Hull's Sam Ricketts had been dismissed for what amounts to consistent stupidity, to put a gloss on the win Hull's efforts had probably not warranted. They won't yet be panicking, though, and nerves will also be a little less frayed than they could have been this Christmas on Wearside.

 

Newcastle United 2 - Tottenham Hotspur 1

In the battle of the struggling big boys, it's United who are able to put a little daylight between themselves and the drop zone, whilst Spurs remain up to their necks in it. The Magpies took the lead before a quarter of an hour had elapsed when Benoit Assou-Ekotto could only tap back Shay Given's huge launch upfield, under pressure from Charles N'Zogbia, to present the Newcastle winger with a chance he was grateful to bury past the helpless Huerelho Gomes. Before the half hour was up, Tottenham equalised in fortunate manner, when Michael Dawson's challenge on the half-way line broke kindly for Luca Modric. With the Toon defence in two minds to chase him, due to Roman Pavlyuchenko's standing about a mile and a half offside, the talented Croatian was able to carry the ball on and beat Given all ends up with his finish. Both sides pressed thereafter but the crowd had to wait until the last minute for the winner when fit-again Damien Duff played a slick one-two with large-boned Antipodean Mark Viduka before finishing with consumate ease past the committed Gomes.

 

West Bromwich Albion 2 - Manchester City 1

The storm clouds gather for Leslie "Mark" Hughes after his side were outfought and outplayed by the Baggies. With City truly, utterly woeful, the management could at least be grateful they were playing against the most shot-shy team in the League but with ProZone no doubt readily available (if not provided by the council) at Eastlands, that gratitude may only last until their performance in this game is dissected. Albion, simply, just aren't very good but their commitment can't be faulted and the game started at a break-neck pace, albeit with the ball mostly stuck in the middle of the park when it wasn't being crossd into the back of the stands by Darius Vassell. With twenty minutes to go, the Midlanders took the lead when Jim "Not The Dead One" Morrison exposed City's fragile rear-guard with a through ball that Luke Moore gratefully converted. It was no more than Albion had deserved but they were looking down the barrel of two more dropped points after Felipe Caicedo's ponderously-executed back-heel nonetheless proved too slick for everyone in blue and white and bounced in off the back of Scott Carson's head. Justice was done in the final minute, though, when Roman Bednar emulated his keeper by pinging one in off one of the corners with his eyes shut ... but this time at the right end.

 

West Ham United 0 - Aston Villa 1

Villa move third to get the cold sweats breaking out in both the Boleyn Ground and Ashburton Grove boardrooms (one assumes). The result may be very harsh on West Ham, who looked the side most likely throughout this open encounter, but certainly positions Villa very nicely for a serious push to get their noses in the Champions' League trough next season. With ten minutes to go, James Milner, quickly running out of options and space, decided on a cross/shot/gamble that looped up in the air off Lucas Neill before nestling in the net behind the stranded Robert Green. It will be very interesting to see what that particular quirk of fate accomplishes at season's end. With Aston Villa now in the top three and the Hammers just a point out of the bottom three, the suspicion remains that deflection could end up being worth very many millions.

 A Merry Christmas, all.