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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

.... Round 4.... Round 3.... Round 2.... Round 1

Week two - C'est normal?

After the second weekend of Premier League action, the usual suspects are already closing in on the top four places.

Blackburn Rovers 1 - Hull City 1

Hull maintained their unbeaten record in the top flight with a deserved draw at Blackburn. The hosts took the lead a little after the half-hour mark when Jason Roberts sprang the offside trap to latch onto Stephen Reid’s long ball and finish clinically past Boaz Myhill. The lead was only to last a minute, however, and Richard Garcia sent a looping header over Paul Robinson from Craig Fagan’s right-wing cross to put the new boys level. Though both sides looked for a winner as the game progressed, it wasn’t to be and neither will be too disappointed with a point.

Fulham 1 - Arsenal 0

Brede Hangeland’s close-range finish from Jimmy Bullard’s corner was enough to win this London derby for the home side. With a patched-up Arsenal looking a long way off the pace, a fluent Fulham were in control of the game throughout the first half and thoroughly deserved to go into the break a goal up. The second half saw the visitors keep possession a lot better than during the first forty-five minutes, but they struggled to create chances and never really looked like getting an equalizer. They’ll have better days than this but in the meantime, Fulham are off the mark and will be pleased to have bounced back after last week’s loss at Hull.

Liverpool 2 - Middlesbrough 1

Liverpool grabbed a late winner for the second time this season to snatch the points from an unlucky Middlesbrough side. With the Boro defence well-marshalled by the impressive David Wheater, the home side had been unable to turn their possession into clear-cut chances and it looked as if the away side might take all three points after substitute Mido drove a fierce thirty-yard drive into Reina’s bottom-left corner twenty minutes from the end. Liverpool increased their urgency, though, and fortuitously drew level a quarter of an hour later when Jamie Carragher’s hit-and-hope effort spanked off Emmanuel Pogatetz and past Russ Turnbull in the Boro goal. Riding their luck, the Reds then grabbed a winner four minutes into stoppage time when Wheater’s header hit Robbie Keane and the ball dropped nicely for Steven Gerrard to steam it into the corner of the net from the edge of the area. Six points out of six without hitting top gear and it’s looking good for Benitez’s side.

Manchester City 3 - West Ham United 0

Man City came roaring back after their reverse at the hands of Aston Villa last week to hump ten-man West Ham in front of their beleaguered owner at Eastlands. Mark Noble stupidly got himself sent off with two yellow card offences in a matter of minutes and, with City already in the ascendant, it was only ever going to be a matter of time before the Hammers conceded. The opener finally came in the sixty-fifth minute when Matthew Upson was only able to direct his clearing header to Daniel Sturridge and the youngster smashed his finish high into the net past the helpless Robert Green. Five minutes later, it was two-nil after Stephen Ireland showed a neat touch to burst into the box and set up Elano for his second goal of the season. With the same two players combining to make it three just six minutes later, the East Londoners were out for the count. Game over.

Newcastle United 1 - Bolton Wanderers 0

Newcastle continued their good start to the season in seeing off a dogged and well-drilled Bolton at St. James’s Park. Things could have turned out very differently had Shay Given not pulled off a fine save to his left to stop Kevin Nolan’s penalty at the hour mark, but the home side probably just deserved to shade this one. The returning Michael Owen proved the match-winner, coming off the bench to get his head to Geremi’s left-wing cross and glance his header past Jussi Jaaskelainen with twenty minutes remaining. Newcastle’s joy will be tempered by the loss of both Obafemi Martins and Damien Duff through injury during the game, which threatens to leave them critically stretched for attacking options this coming weekend.

Portsmouth 0 - Manchester United 1

Goal machine Darren Fletcher’s first half strike was enough to take the three points for the defending Champions at Portsmouth. Man Utd dominated possession throughout but were only able to break the deadlock when the much-maligned midfielder was able to bundle in Patrice Evra’s cross via Sol Campbell. A desperate Pompey ultimately resorted to long, aimless balls up the park to their little and large strike-force, but were unable to find a way through and find themselves now rooted to the foot of the table. Then again, they haven’t had the easiest couple of fixtures to open a campaign with, so there shouldn’t be too much wailing and gnashing of teeth down Hampshire way, just yet. For United, with away games at Liverpool and Chelsea to follow, it’s an invaluable win at a ground where they traditionally struggle.

Stoke City 3 - Aston Villa 2

Stoke won their first points of the campaign in dramatic fashion when Mamady Sidibe headed home Rory Delap’s long throw in injury time. Their direct style proved far more effective against Martin O’Neill’s side than it had against the rugged Bolton last week and the Villa rearguard had an uncomfortable afternoon of things throughout. It was Stoke who took the lead after half an hour, Liam Lawrence converting from the spot after Martin Laursen’s clumsy challenge on Delap, but Villa got back in the game just after the hour mark through John Carew. The hosts then went ahead a second time, when Ricardo Fuller superbly took Lawrence’s through-ball in his stride before shooting across Friedel but Villa wouldn’t lie down and Laursen was able to make amends for his earlier error just four minutes later, when toe-poking the ball home after a bout of pinball in the Stoke box. With the game then looking destined to end all square, Sidibe popped up to send the home fans ballistic and start Stoke on the road to Premier League survival. Perhaps...

Tottenham Hotspur 1 - Sunderland 2

Tottenham find themselves in danger of finishing the second round of fixtures in the bottom three after succumbing to Sunderland at home. The Mackems recovered well after their late blow against Liverpool and took the lead when Keiran Richardson outmuscled Jermaine Jenas some thirty yards from goal and let fly past Heurelho Gomes. Spurs restored parity twenty minutes later after Luca Modric’s effort was parried by Craig Gordon into the path of Jenas, but new signing The Lord Of The Manor Of Frosham made a scoring debut from the Sunderland bench when heading Daryl Murphy’s left-wing cross home from six yards. Troubled times on the Seven Sisters.

West Bromwich Albion 1 - Everton 2

The Baggies look to have a very long, very hard season ahead of them after their lack of a cutting edge saw them come away second-best against a patchwork Everton side at the Hawthorns. Despite making most of the running and looking the better side throughout, Albion were caught with a sucker punch when Mikel Arteta found Leon Osman bursting into the box and the winger controlled and finished well to put the visitors ahead. Things went from bad to worse for West Brom ten minutes later when Joleon Lescott’s long, aimless lump up the pitch was allowed to bounce and Yakubu nipped in to head over the oncoming and soon-to-be-red-faced Scott Carson. Roman Bednar pulled a goal back from the spot after Phil Neville was adjudged to have handled but by then it was a case of too little, too late.

Wigan Athletic 0 - Chelsea 1

A Chelsea victory after their drubbing of Portsmouth last week may have seemed a foregone conclusion but Steve Bruce’s side, despite a lack of points so far, look a pretty decent outfit this season and played well enough to have deserved a point, here. The Londoners got off to the perfect start, when Deco curled an exquisite free kick into Pollitt’s top right corner after three minutes but were thereafter forced to work extremely hard for the three points. With Wilson Palacios, Mario Melchiot and Amr Zaki, particularly, proving a constant thorn in their side, Big Phil’s team will have been glad and relieved to get away with the win that keeps them at the top of the table.