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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 20.... Week 19 - Boxing Day.... Week 18.... Week 17.... Week 16.... Week 15

Ominous Manchester United Close In

 

Arsenal 1 - Bolton Wanderers 0

Arsenal claw themselves back into the picture with a hard-won victory at the Emirates. Bolton turned up looking not to concede and up to the last quarter of an hour it looked as if they were likely to be successful. The home side kept plugging away but with scant reward until, six minutes from the end, Nicklas Bendtner slid in at the far post to convert Robin van Persie's left-wing cross. After a decent run in November, Wanderers are now just three points away from trouble whilst Arsenal still have plenty to do to close the gap on the league leaders.

 

Aston Villa 2 - West Bromwich Albion 1

A third own goal winner in as many matches keeps Villa on track for a top four finish. The struggling Baggies started the match the brighter but fortune's been in short supply in West Bromwich so far this season and, against the run of play, they found themselves behind on twenty minutes when their ex-captain Curtis Davies headed home at the third attempt. Efforts from Steve Sidwell had been cleared off the line before Gareth Barry lofted the ball back across goal and Davies stopped to head home. Four minutes before the interval Villa, now with their tails up, doubled the lead when Scott Carson made an almighty ricket of a Gabriel Agbonlahor cross and diverted it into his own net. It was harsh on Albion who nonetheless rallied after the break and pulled a goal back after five minutes when James Morrison collected Roman Bednar's nod down before sweetly turning Martin Laursen and slotting home. Any hopes of a full recovery faded when Morrison was forced off with twenty-five minutes left, however, and West Brom remain rooted to the foot of the table.

 

Everton 2 - Hull City 0

Everton extend their good run of form as Hull continue to slide. Making light of their supposed striker crisis, the Toffees were good value for this win though owed their first goal to a glaring error from the linesman. As Leighton Baines swung in a cross from out on the left touchline, the towering Marouane Fellaini was standing a good yard or yard and a half offside but, somehow, the assistant referee missed seeing the six foot four bushy-haired midfielder, who gratefully nodded past Boaz Myhill. When Mikel Arteta stepped up to smack a blistering free-kick into the Hull net on the stroke of half-time the game was as good as over and the hosts were content to scrap out the second half against their game visitors with little worry. They remain sixth, just three points behind Arsenal, whilst Hull stay eighth for now but will be looking over their shoulders.

 

Fulham v Blackburn Rovers - POSTPONED

 

Manchester United 3 - Chelsea 0

Manchester United make the most of an abject second half Chelsea performance to pile the pressure on Blues boss Phil Scolari. The opening forty minutes of this game was a stereotypical blood and thunder spectacle with plenty of commitment on show but very little in the way of finesse - or even decent passing. That changed just before half-time when United tried out a training-ground corner kick routine that finished with Cristiano Ronaldo heading home but referee Howard Webb disallowing the effort as he'd not blown to allow the kick. Not that it mattered as, from the re-taken corner, Dimitar Berbatov flicked across goal and Nemanja Vidic headed home. Scolari shuffled his deck at half-time, bringing top scorer Nicolas Anelka on in place of the misfiring Deco but Chelsea simply failed to rise to the challenge and were carrying no kind of threat whatsoever. Just after the hour, Wayne Rooney doubled United's lead when poking home Patrice Evra's excellent cross and Berbatov made it three a couple of minutes from the end to underline the home side's supremacy. United can now go top if they win their games in hand but for Chelsea, a return to the drawing board looks the best bet.

 

Middlesbrough 1 - Sunderland 1

Honours even in the Tees/Wear derby as Boro's winless run is extended to eight games. A poor first half only livened up right at the end when Alfonso Alves linked well with want-away Stuart Downing to crash the hosts into a half-time lead they'd probably just about deserved. The Black Cats came out for the second period meaning business and slowly built the momentum that culminated in Kenwyne Jones's equaliser eight minutes before the end. They could even have gone on to win the match but for an acrobatic goal-line clearance from Adam Johnson and a terrific last-ditch tackle on Djibril Cisse from Tony McMahon. Middlesbrough certainly deserved their point, however, and though the point does neither club many favours, a draw was probably the right result.

 

Newcastle United 2 - West Ham United 2

Newcastle arrest their recent slide thanks to an Andy Carroll equaliser at St. James's Park. An open game full of attacking intent from both sides saw the home side take the lead on twenty minutes when Michael Owen took advantage of a James Collins slip to stride forward and drive home from the edge of the area. Ten minutes later and the Londoners were level when a tidy passage of short passing ended with Scott Parker slipping in Craig Bellamy who, for once in an onside position, lifted a top class finish past Shay Given. West Ham started the second half in fine fettle and went ahead ten minutes in when Carlton Cole did well to bring down Herita Ilunga's long ball out of defence and slam an unstoppable shot high into Given's net. Joe Kinnear's installed a bit of spirit into this Magpies side and they came back looking for the leveller which they found courtesy of Andy Carroll's header ten minutes from the end. Enjoyable stuff.

 

Portsmouth v Manchester City - POSTPONED

 

Stoke City 0 - Liverpool 0

Stoke frustrate Liverpool for the second time this season in a turgid game at the Britannia. With manager Rafael Benitez surprisingly leaving both his twenty-odd million pound strikers on the bench, Liverpool proved to be fairly toothless and Stoke, if either of these sides deserved more than a point, would probably have proved the more worthy winners. They did come close to breaking the deadlock after just ten minutes only for Rory Delap to smash his effort against the bar and Dave Kitson should have done better when intercepting a poor Pepe Reina throw five minutes into the second half, or when getting on the end of a Delap throw with eight minutes remaining only to miss the target both times. Liverpool, for their part, came close to nicking it through Steven Gerrard late on but their talismanic captain could only clip the bar with a free kick and then the outside of the far post when stretching to connect with a through ball with mere seconds remaining. They stay top but won't be there should their rivals from down the road win their games in hand.

 

Wigan Athletic 1 - Tottenham Hotspur 0

The in-form Latics serve Spurs a painful reminder it takes more than a bottle of ketchup to banish the spectre of relegation. With the midfield mightily congested, goalscoring chances were kept to a minimum, though it was the home side who enjoyed the better of both the possession and what few chances there were. Justice was therefore served right at the death when the impressive Maynor Figueroa headed home Ryan Taylor's right-wing corner to take all three points. Wigan come out of the weekend comfortably ensconced in seventh spot but for Tottenham, the unthinkable remains a very real and present danger. Arch wheeler-dealer Harry Redknapp will no doubt be leafing through his well-thumbed little black book as I write.