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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 22.... Week 21.... Week 20.... Week 19 - Boxing Day.... Week 18.... Week 17

Still Tight at Both Ends

 

Blackburn Rovers 2 - Bolton Wanderers 2

Rovers come from two goals down to maintain Sam Allardyce's unbeaten start at the club. It looked as if Bolton were going to put an end to their recent sticky patch after Matt taylor had slid in at the back post to put them ahead after a quarter of an hour and Kevin Davies had doubled their advantage at the second time of asking ten minutes later. It was nothing less than Wanderers had deserved after bossing the first forty-five minutes but Rovers improved after the break and began to get themselves back in the game. Twenty minutes after the restart, Stephen Warnock ran onto Benni McCarthy's through ball and caught Jussi Jaaskelainen in two minds to pull a goal back. McCarthy should have put the home side on level terms shortly after but put his penalty too close to Jaaskelainen after Roque Santa Cruz was awarded a soft penalty for a clash with the keeper. The South African made amends for his miss, though, with four minutes left when cracking home the loose ball after a penalty area scuffle.

 

Chelsea 2 - Middlesbrough 0

Chelsea move up to second after making hard work of a bus-parking Boro side at Stamford Bridge. The Londoners endured a frustrating first half against a team desperate to put an end to their catastrophic recent run of form and barely managed to breach a stout Boro rear-guard. Things picked up for Chelsea after the introduction of Didier Drogba at the interval, though it was Salomon Kalou who spurned their best chance when inexplicably heading over from all of five yards from a Lampard corner. Just before the hour, another Lampard corner found its way to the Ivorian via David Wheater's poor header and the young striker gleefullt redeemed himself by volleying home. Boro, understandably, opened up a little after going behind but it was to be Kalou who got the next goal, heading home completely unmarked from another Lampard corner. Hardly classic stuff from Chelsea but it proved enough to move them up to second, whilst Middlesbrough remain stuck in the bottom three.

 

Everton 1 - Arsenal 1

Arsenal snatch a late draw at Goodison to stay ahead in the race for the UEFA Cup place. Everton largely controlled this game but will be disappointed their lack of a real cutting edge meant they were unable to put Manuel Almunia under the pressure they should have. Having had the better of the first half, the Toffees finally took the lead on the hour when the priceless Tim Cahill soared high to thump a fantastic header back across Almunia from Leighton Baines's cross. The Gunners had been second best all night but were able to snatch a draw at the death when Robin van Persie supplied a top-class finish, having taken Abou Diaby's pass down on his chest. The draw wasn't really what either side wanted going into the game but Arsene Wenger's side will be by far the happier with the outcome.

 

Manchester City 2 - Newcastle United 1

Man City move into the top half of the table and leave United embroiled in a relegation scrap. It took seventeen minutes for City to get underway, Robinho deigning to return from pissing it up on the Copacabana to set up Shaun Wright-Phillips, who nutmegged Steve Harper in the Newcastle goal. Things got worse shortly after for Newcastle when diminutive balsa wood striker Michael Owen copped a crunching tackle from debutant Nigel de Jong and was forced off. Fellow debutant Craig Bellamy put the Mancunians two up after seventy minutes, cracking an excellent finish on the turn past one of his many former employers before Andy Carroll rolled home David Edgar's cross to set up a potentially nervy but ultimately fairly comfortable final fifteen minutes for the hosts. Mark Hughes has his side moving in the right direction but JFK still has plenty to do.

 

Portsmouth 0 - Aston Villa 1

Villa keep their challenge up as Portsmouth slip further down the table. Aston Villa have developed an enviable habit of winning whilst not completely convincing in recent weeks and it was a case of more of the same at Fratton Park. A Portsmouth side currently on the ropes came out looking for a change in fortune but, despite looking the better side for long periods of the game, consistently failed to find the target with their efforts on goal. Emile Heskey bagged what proved to be the winner on his debut when getting on the end of a Gabriel Agbonlahor flick to flash a finish past David James with twenty minutes gone. There was no lack of effort on behalf of the hosts but once Nadir Belhadj was given his marching orders with twenty minutes left, an equaliser never really looked likely.

 

Sunderland 1 - Fulham 0

Fulham's winless away run continues as the Black Cats blow some life back into their campaign. In a low-quality first half of much endeavour and little artistry, it was the home side who looked to take charge only for their passing to let them down as often as not and hand the initiative to the visitors. The second period was better for Sunderland, though, and their bright start was rewarded after ten minutes when Mark Schwartzer could only parry Djibril Cisse's curling effort back into the path of the lurking Kenwyne Jones. The confidence boost was obvious and suddenly Sunderland were attacking with more purpose, only to nearly come a cropper on a couple of occasions to Fulham counter-attacks. There were to be no more goals, however, and both sides head into the weekend in mid-table.

 

Tottenham Hotspur 3 - Stoke City 1

Tottenham put a little bit of distance between themselves and the bottom and ensure Stoke remain in trouble. The first half saw Spurs come out of the blocks looking a far better side than their performances so far this season have suggested and they took the lead with only eight minutes on the clock, as Andy Wilkinson allowed Aaron Lennon to advance into the box and find the net through the legs of Thomas Sorensen. Twelve minutes later and the Londoners doubled their lead when Roman Pavlyuchenko's superb through ball put Jermaine Defoe in on goal. Luka Modric was causing Stoke all sorts of problems in the middle of the park and it was his cross which was powered home by Michael Dawson on twenty-five minutes to make it three. Stoke made more of a fist of things in the second half, pulling a goal back through James Beattie ten minutes in, but the damage had already been done and there was to be no way back for Tony Pulis's side.

 

West Bromwich Albion 0 - Manchester United 5

The defending champions look in ominous form and blitz the bottom-of-the-table Baggies. Albion worked hard but were looking second best before Dimitar Berbatov played a one-two with Michael Carrick and put the visitors ahead with twenty minutes gone. The home side's hopes of getting back into the game were dealt a blow five minutes before the interval, when referee Rob "Name In The Papers" Styles showed a ludicrous red to full-back Paul Robinson, and looked to be buried four minutes later when Scott Carson suffered another of his periodic rushes of blood to the head and dropped the ball on the toes of Carlos Tevez to make it two-nil. When Ryan Donk's effort crashed back off the post ten minutes after the restart, the writing was on the wall and United made it three ten minutes later; Vidic powering home Ryan Giggs's corner. Cristiano Ronaldo then popped up with a late brace to add insult to injury and Tony Mowbray now has his work cut out to lift his side for Saturday's crucial game at Hull.

 

West Ham United 2 - Hull City 0

West Ham thoroughly outclass Hull to keep their upward momentum going, whilst City are in free-fall. Hull City are on a serious slide and were hardly in this game at all, with the final score somewhat flattering them. The Hammers should have taken the lead before they did, only for debutant Matt Duke to pull off a great save from Mark Noble's penalty attempt. Referee Howard Webb had awarded the spot kick after Carlton Cole had been bundled over by Sam Ricketts and the ex-Chelsea man proved a handful all night. It was from his left foot shot that West Ham took the lead just after the half hour, Duke unable to hold onto the ball and David di Michele gratefully ramming the rebound into the roof of the net. Five minutes after the break and it was two when the strikers swapped roles - di Michele's effort coming back off the post to the Cole to tuck away. More chances came and went but a combination of Duke's heroics and some less-than-emphatic finishing kept Hull safe from a deserved drubbing. Whether they'll be safe from the drop is another matter entirely and they need a confidence boost, sharpish.

 

Wigan Athletic 1 - Liverpool 1

Liverpool's title ambitions are dealt a blow as they are held by Wigan at the JJB. The reds weren't at their best but nonetheless had slightly the better if the first half, creating a couple of chances before Yossi Benayoun finished well from a narrow angle just before half-time. The Latics came out for the second half determined to chase the game and by the end, probably deserved to have won. As it is, they had to make do with a late equaliser from the spot after Lucas Leiva had clumsily brought down Jason Koumas when there looked to be little threat on the Liverpool goal. On-loan Mido continued a good night for players making their debut by converting. Steve Bruce is doing some good work up at Wigan and his side sit comfortably in the top half of the table. Rafael Benitez, meanwhile, has the perfect opportunity this weekend against Chelsea to prove his side are still serious contenders for the title.