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"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 28.... Week 27.... Week 26.... Week 25.... Week 24.... Week 23

Life In The Old Dog Yet?

 

Arsenal 4 - Blackburn Rovers 0

Arsenal's resurgence gathers pace as they swat aside Blackburn with the minimum of fuss. After three consecutive goal-less draws at home, Arsenal were ahead within two minutes when Andre Ooijer turned Theo Walcott's right wing cross into his own net under pressure from Andrei Arshavin. Despite having virtually all of the possession, the Gunners were unable to add to their first half lead and their visitors looked to physically intimidate them in response - one disgraceful lunge by El Hadji Diouf on Manuel Almunia earning only yellow when it shoudl have been a straight red. The home side continued to press after the break, only for the hapless Nicklas Bendtner to spurn a succession of chances before Arshavin finally doubled the lead. Picking up the ball on the left bye-line, the new boy tricked his way round Danny Simpson before lifting his shot beyond Paul Robinson, forming a surprisingly unformidable barrier on his near post for such a chubby lad. Emmanuel Eboue then added a late brace to underscore Arsenal's dominance - the first when following up when Arshavin's volley was parried by Robinson and the second from the spot after Carlos Vela had been brought down by Martin Olsson. With Aston Villa on the skids, Arsene Wenger's side are looking odds-on to retain their Champions' League spot, whilst Blackburn will go away knowing they'll have better chances to come to climb out of trouble.

 

Aston Villa 1 - Tottenham Hotspur 2

With Villa's season unravelling at the seams, Tottenham take full advantage and move closer to ensuring Premier League football next season. Spurs capped a bright start when Jermaine Jenas nodded home after Brad Friedel made a schoolboy error in pushing Aaron Lennon's cross-shot straight back into play. Villa took charge of the half from that point on but were unable to get back on terms before the interval and were made to pay within five minutes of the restart. Lennon sent Robbie Keane away into the area and his shot across Friedel was turned home at the far post by Darren Bent. With the home "fans" audibly embarrassing themselves, John Carew reduced the deficit with five minutes to go but it was to prove too little, too late and Martin O'Neill's side drop back to fifth.

 

Bolton Wanderers 1 - Fulham 3

The Cottagers earn their first away win of the season as they cruise past a stuttering Bolton. In a hectic first half, clear-cut chances were at a premium and it took a defensive error shortly before half-time to ensure the deadlock was broken. Andy O'Brien, stretched throughout, was racing back toward his own goal after a long through ball and managed to take the ball round the advancing Jussi Jaaskelainen. Visibly struggling to make ground, he was then beaten to the loose ball by Andy Johnson, who slid it just inside the post. Within three minutes, the Trotters were level when Kevin Davies fired home after Johan Elmander had let Mark Davies's through ball run to the in-form striker. Fulham regained the lead ten minutes after the restart. Danny Murphy's effort crashed back off the Bolton bar and Simon Davies turned it back, the ball just about crossing the line after being half-blocked on its way through. Wanderers pushed hard for an equaliser but came unstuck again at the death when O'Brien capped his performance by gifting the ball to substitute Diomansy Kamara, who fired home.

 

Chelsea 1 - Manchester City 0

Chelsea pick up another three points to help keep the pressure on at the top. In a game the Londoners completely dominated, the returning Michael Essien scored the game's only goal when shanking Frank Lampard's clever free-kick in off his shin just before the twenty-minute mark. City lived something of a charmed life from there on in, with Anelka denied what looked like a clear-cut penalty when brought down by Nedum Onuoha and the hosts also hitting the woodwork through Juliano Belletti. Chelsea, then, close to within four points of Manchester United, though with the leaders having a game in hand, it's still looking a forlorn chase and they will be concerned by the withdrawal through injury of both the lively Didier Drogba and Deco before the ninety minutes were up. City seemed happy enough to avoid a repeat of last year's six-nil humping and will resume next week against Sunderland.

 

Everton 3 - Stoke City 1

Stoke drop back into the relegation zone after going down at Goodison. Everton started far the better of the two teams and took a deserved lead in the eighteenth minute when Jo played a smart one-two with Marouane Fellaini before hitting a low shot that carried too much sting for Thomas Sorensen in the Stoke goal. Six minutes later and Joleon Lescott doubled the lead with a tap-in, though the defender looked to be marginally offside when Tim Cahill's header was parried to him by Sorensen. City produced a battling display in the second half and, once Ryan Shawcroft had pulled a goal back by heading Liam Lawrence's corner through a poor Tim Howard attempt at a save, forced the Toffees onto the back foot for the final forty minutes. Everton coped with the pressure, though, and bagged a third in the last minute, when Fellaini did well to pull down a high ball with his back to goal before turning and firing home. Everton now have Villa in their sights, whilst Stoke, in the bottom three on goal difference only, are still very much alive.

 

Hull City 1 - Newcastle United 1

A nervous game at the KC Stadium sees the points shared between two sides desperate for more. Hull took the lead inside ten minutes when Geovanni headed home Craig Fagan's fantastic cross and Newcastle equalised ten minutes before half time, with Steven Taylor shinning Nicky Butt's cross over Matt Duke from eight yards. Both sides pushed for the winner after the break, though neither side really carved out a clear-cut chance and the draw was probably a fair result from a scrappy game. A point doesn't do much to diminish the relegation threat for either side, though at least they both manage to prevent a rival from winning and, as tight as things are at the foot of the table, it could make all the difference come season's end.

 

Manchester United 1 - Liverpool 4

A shocker at Old Trafford sees Liverpool claw back to within four points of the leaders after handing them a drubbing in their own back yard. Despite starting the brighter, the visitors found themselves a goal down twenty-three minutes in, after Pepe Reina's ill-considered charge saw him clatter into the busy-but-headed-nowhere Park Ji-Sung and Cristiano Ronaldo put away the spot kick. They levelled five minutes later, however, when Fernando Torres made the most of Nemanja Vidic's hesitation to nick the ball and bury it past Edwin van der Sar. On the stroke of half-time, Liverpool went ahead when Patrice Evra tripped Steven Gerrard in the box, with the captain dusting himself off to convert the penalty, and they never looked back. United pushed hard after the break but found the Reds' defence in resilient mood and things went from bad to worse for the hosts within a matter of seconds, fifteen minutes from the end. Vidic, again caught flat-footed and out of position, pulled back Gerrard to earn a straight red and before his side could regroup, Fabio Aurelio curled home a peach of a free-kick to put 'Pool further ahead. In the last minute, Andrea Dossena got on the end of a quick break to lob van der Sar and rub salt into the wounds and it's now up to Alex Ferguson to ensure this remains a blip, rather than the start of a slump. Rafael Benitez, on the other hand, can be hugely satisfied with his side's current form as we enter the business end of the season.

 

Middlesbrough 1 - Portsmouth 1

A late, late equaliser sees Middlesbrough peg back their relegation rivals and keep their hopes of survival alive. With so much at stake for both clubs, this was never destined to be a classic and so it proved. Peter Crouch gave Pompey the lead on the half-hour when volleying home Glen Johnson's cross and, for much of the match, it looked as if that was going to be enough to earn the Hampshire side a vital win. Things looked gloomy for the Teessiders when Matthew Bates picked up an embarrassing second yellow for diving but with Portsmouth's management looking to close the game out by bringing on midfielders for strikers, the visitors effectively invited their hosts to come at them. That they did, though it was only deep into stoppage time that Marlon King poked home after David James had parried a Tony McMahon header. Gareth Southgate's side even found time to carve out a last chance to win the game, only to find Alfonso Alves wanting when one-on-one with James. With Boro still two points behind their opponents and safety, it might prove a costly miss from the Brazilian.

 

Sunderland 1 - Wigan Athletic 2

Wigan end their winless streak with a deserved victory at the Stadium of Light. Twelve minutes into a fairly humdrum game, Chris Kirkland launched a long kick down the park that Ben Watson latched onto to smash Athletic into the lead. Kirkland then pulled off a top drawer double save to deny Andy Reid and Steed Malbranque but Sunderland weren't really at the races at all. It was therefore a surprise when they managed an equaliser, with Marton Fulop's hefty hoof down the pitch flicked on by Kenwyne Jones to Grant Leadbitter, who finished emphatically. With aplomb, even. They weren't on level terms for long, however, as on the stroke of half time, Charles N'Zogbia raced away down the pitch to put away the winner, with the Black Cats' players complaining Jones was lying pole-axed as the action unfolded. With this win, Wigan pretty-much guarantee Premier League football at the JJB next season. With this loss, Sunderland remain firmly in the relegation battle.

 

West Ham United 0 - West Bromwich Albion 0

The Hammers are painfully held by the Baggies, who now look certainties for the drop. The weekend ended with a whimper on Monday night as these two sides played out a largely uneventful draw. The visitors had the better chances, with James Morrison forcing a sharp save from Robert Green, Jonathon Greening chipping over from six yards and Shelton Martis hitting the woodwork but they weren't able to breach an injury-depleted United and remain rooted to the foot of the table. Not a fantastic advert for the Premier League.