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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 2.... Week 1.... Round 4.... Round 3.... Round 2

Week 3 - Promising, Promising!

A weekend comes and goes and suddenly we have a Premier League where every team has dropped points, just three games in. Promising, promising.

Arsenal 3 Newcastle United 0

Arsenal finally clicked into gear to dispatch a Newcastle side reduced to chasing shadows for much of the game. Short of some steel this Arsenal side may well be but they can play some lovely stuff when they turn it on and Newcastle couldn’t live with them. Robin van Persie’s penalty after eighteen minutes got them underway, after Charles N’Zogbia handled in the box and the same player made it two shortly before half-time when powering home Eboue’s back-heel from close range. Denilson made it three on the hour mark, as the hosts carved through the visitor’s defence again, but it had been over as a contest some time before that and it was really only the emergence of pantomime villain Joey Barton for the final two minutes that livened up the last half hour.

 

Aston Villa 0 Liverpool 0

Liverpool’s 100% record went as Villa managed their first clean sheet of the season. Very little of note happened during a pretty turgid ninety minutes. John Carew might have done better with a first half effort that was comfortably saved by Reina. Robbie Keane may well have had a penalty when brought down in the area by Nigel Reo-Coker. I’m not going to waste any more time on it.

 

Bolton Wanderers 0 West Bromwich Albion 0

West Brom got their first points on the board but may rue a couple of Ishmael Miller chances that went begging to deny them a first win. After a dire first half, both sides came out after the interval with more purpose, though neither was able to break the deadlock. Kim came closest for the Baggies, when his ferocious thirty-yard drive cannoned back off the Bolton crossbar, only for Miller to head the rebound tamely back at Jaaskelainen from six yards. Kevin Davies saw two efforts ruled out for offside for the home team and couldn’t complain about either decision.

 

Chelsea 1 Tottenham Hotspur 1

Chelsea dropped their first points of the season after being held at home by Spurs. Tottenham rode their luck in the first half and could already have been a goal or two down before Juliano Belletti put the visitors ahead in fortuitous fashion when Darren Bent’s hashed clearance from Deco’s poor corner ricocheted back off the Brazilian and into the net. There was a large element of fortune about Tottenham’s equalizer, as well, as Frank Lampard’s tackle on Luka Modric saw the ball break to the lurking Darren Bent to finish impressively under the onrushing Petr Cech. Spurs came out looking a lot better in the second half and posed a real if intermittent threat on the break as Chelsea went after a winner. Ultimately, though, neither side was able to carve out a clear-cut chance and the match finished all square.

 

Everton 0 Portsmouth 3

Pompey broke their duck in impressive fashion in seeing off a stretched Everton side at Goodison. Jermaine Defoe bagged the first after just twelve minutes, making space for himself where he really had no right to be able to in the Everton box before finding the net low to Tim Howard’s right. David James was in great form for Portsmouth and kept them ahead with a sharp double save to deny Mikel Arteta before Glen Johnson doubled the lead on forty minutes, playing a neat one-two with Defoe before advancing into the Everton area and finishing coolly with the outside of his left boot. Everton spurned a chance to get themselves back in the game just after half-time, when James was able to get across and keep out Yakubu’s rather tentative penalty attempt and Defoe finished the scoring with a delightful chip to finish a swift counter attack twenty minutes before the end.

 

Hull City 0 Wigan Athletic 5

Hull were brought to Earth with a bump as an increasingly-impressive Wigan side handed them a thumping at home. It took only five minutes for the away side to take the lead, when Kevin Kilbane’s low corner was turned into his own net by the aptly-named Sam Ricketts. Antonio Valencia raced away to double the lead just eight minutes later at the Tigers suddenly had a mountain to climb. The Premier League’s top marksman, Amr Zaki, helped himself to a brace with an accurate finish and a thunderbolt in the sixty-third and eighty-first minutes to sandwich Emile Heskey’s first goal of the season and it now needs to be seen how Hull react to their first setback of this campaign.

 

Middlesbrough 2 Stoke City 1

Middlesbrough would have ended up relieved to have won this one after again failing to translate on-field dominance into goals. This incarnation of Gareth Southgate’s side carries a much greater attacking threat than previous ones, so the last thing Stoke needed was to see Amdy Faye launch himself two-footed at Mohamed Shawky to leave them a man down with an hour still to play. Things then went from bad to worse for Stoke when Alfonso Alves stepped up to curl the resultant free-kick beautifully into Thomas Sorensen’s top left corner. Boro failed to put the game to bed, though, as Stuart Downing lashed a penalty against the bar and Tuncay spurned numerous chances in front of goal before Stoke shocked their hosts with an equalizer when Justin Hoyte clumsily bundled home an own goal from Liam Lawrence’s cross. Luckily for Middlesbrough, Tuncay finally rediscovered his shooting boots five minutes before the end to secure the points from a game they should have won comfortably.

 

Sunderland 0 Manchester City 3

City took up where they left off last week against West Ham and cruised to a win at the Stadium of Light, as returning hero Shaun Wright-Phillips grabbed two goals in his first game back. Stephen Ireland put Man City ahead right at the end of what had been a pretty even first half, when Danny Collins could only deflect Michael Johnson’s cross into his path, and it spurred the visitors on to largely dominate the second period. SWP made it two five minutes after the restart when poking home Jo’s cross-shot at the far post and completed his brace eight minutes later when first to a hopeful Michael Ball lob up the pitch. With the last half hour notable only for some increasingly-heavy Sunderland tackles flying in, City were able to contain their hosts comfortably and ultimately canter to the win.

 

West Ham United 4 Blackburn Rovers 1

The score-line might flatter West Ham, but their win against the returning pariah’s Blackburn was well-deserved at the Boleyn. Calum Davenport had headed the Hammers ahead from a corner before Mark Noble’s mis-hit effort went in off Christopher Samba to double the home side’s lead. Rovers got back in the game on twenty-two minutes, when Jason Roberts turned Davidson before finishing confidently past Robert Green and were to be gifted a chance to draw level shortly after the restart. For reasons best known to himself, Carlton Cole jumped at Stephen Reid’s free-kick with arms raised and referee Mike Riley had no hesitation in pointing to the spot. Roberts’s effort was well truck but Green made a great save low to his left to keep West Ham ahead. The visitors continued to press for an equalizer and paid the price twice in quick succession right at the death. First, Craig Bellamy was able to celebrate his latest return from injury when volleying home from the edge of the area after a long clearance had evaded Rovers’ scratch rear-guard, before Carlton Cole put the icing on the cake with a close-range finish from Scott Parker’s pass. Harsh on Blackburn but football can be a cruel game.