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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 30.... Week 29.... Week 28.... Week 27.... Week 26

Two Down, One to Go? 

Arsenal 2 - Manchester City 0

Arsenal continue their charge for the line at the expense of a City side who's struggles on the road probably means they'll need to win the UEFA Cup to take part again next season. It was the returning Emmanuel Adebayor who did the damage for the Gunners. The Togo international was left completely unmarked to head his first from a Cesc Fabregas free-kick with just eight minutes on the clock. Fabregas, only just returned from injury, himself, was in good form in the middle of the park and it was his through ball that sent Adebayor away for his second just after the break. With Villa imploding, Arsene Wenger's side are now odds-on for a financially crucial top four finish, whilst City look destined for a mid-table finish.

 

Blackburn Rovers 2 - Tottenham Hotspur 1

Ten-man Rovers grab a vital win against the run of play to give themselves a five-point cushion to the relegation zone. The visitors took the lead on the half hour when Gael Givet was harshly adjudged to have handled Aaron Lennon's cross, despite the defender appearing to do all he could to get his arm out of the way of the ball. Robbie Keane converted and the North Londoners kept their lead until half-time when Rovers' boss Sam Allardyce signalled his intent by moving the towering Christopher Samba up front. Spurs held on but were dealt a blow ten minutes before the end when Wilson Palacios was sent off for a softish second yellow and Blackburn made the most of their numerical advantage. Samba outmuscled Jonathon Woodgate and his cross was converted by Benni McCarthy with seven minutes remaining and then Andre Ooijer popped up with a last-minute winner after the Tottenham defence had failed to deal with the always lovable El Hadj Diouf's corner.

 

Bolton Wanderers 4 - Middlesbrough 1

Bolton all-but ensure Premier League survival in all-but confirming Boro's demise. Middlesbrough, desperate for points, looked quite bright in the opening five minutes but Bolton responded and produced a concerted period of pressure that saw Kevin Davies head home Ricardo Gardner's cross with eight minutes gone and Boro keeper Brad Jones forced into a couple of smart saves. Middlesbrough kept at it, though, and pulled themselves back into the game seven minutes before the break through Gary O'Neill, only to see the Trotters reestablish their lead when Gary Cahill played a one-two with Johan Elmander before firing past Jones. The Teessiders came back again, with Tuncay doing his best to claw them back into it, but some woeful defending saw a Matt Taylor free-kick elude everyone before finding the net and then Gardner rubbed salt into the wounds with a late fourth. Middlesbrough now have two huge games coming up, against Hull and Fulham, and anything less than six points will probably see the obituaries written. Even should they win those two, the fixture list is not looking kind and I suspect time's up for Gareth Southgate's team.

 

Everton 4 - Wigan Athletic 0

The Toffees close to a point of Villa and fifth with a comprehensive victory against high-flying Wigan. Jo put Everton in front just after twenty-five minutes when he provided a crisp finish after being found by the impressive Leon Osman. The hosts doubled their lead shortly after the break when Marouane Fellaini took Tony Hibbert's cross in the box before picking his spot. Fellaini was involved again four minutes later when Chris Kirkland was only able to parry the Belgian's shot back to Jo to notch the third and an almost carbon-copy saw Osman bag the fourth on the hour mark. The Merseysiders now have the struggling Villa in their sights and look a good bet to catch them. Wigan have had and will have better afternoons than this and are still a laudable eighth in the table.

 

Fulham 0 - Liverpool 1

Yossi Benayoun once more proves invaluable as Liverpool grab a last-gasp victory at Craven Cottage to keep the pressure on the leaders. The Reds dominated this game from the outset against a Fulham team looking short of the belief that had helped them beat Manchester United a couple of weeks ago but looked destined to end the afternoon frustrated. Andrea Dossena saw two headers come back off the bar and both Xabi Alonso and Fernando Torres were also denied by the woodwork as a dogged Fulham rode their luck. However, with time running out, Benayoun was in the right place at the right time during a goalmouth scramble and thrashed his effort into the top corner to keep the title race alive.

 

Hull City 0 - Portsmouth 0

These two sides creep a little closer to safety after stalemate at the KC Stadium. Portsmouth probably shaded the game but were left a man down for the last quarter of an hour after Glen Johnson received a harsh second yellow. Despite that, they came closest to breaking the deadlock, only for Herman Hreidarsson to see his late header come back off the post. Hull are without a home win in 2009 but have managed to stay out of the danger zone on the back of decent away form and probably need just another half-dozen points to be safe. Pompey, a point behind the weekend's hosts, are likely to survive with a similar return but the relegation fight promises to remain intriguing up to the last kick of the season.

 

Manchester United 3 - Aston Villa 2

Teenage striker Federico Machedo marked his debut with a priceless late winner at Old Trafford that keeps Manchester United top. Aston Villa have been in free-fall in recent weeks but looked a decent proposition here and will be disappointed not to have come away with at least a point. Cristiano Ronaldo put the hosts ahead after a quarter of an hour when his effort from Nani's rolled indirect free-kick proved too good for Brad Friedel, after the keeper was penalised for picking up a poor James Milner back pass. Villa were back on terms by the half hour, though, when John Carew nodded home Gareth Barry's cross and took the lead just before the hour mark when the Norwegian turned provider for Gabriel Agbonlahor. Ronaldo set up a grandstand finish with ten minutes remaining after finding Friedel's bottom left corner from distance but, depp into injury time, it looked as if more points were going to be dropped. Up popped Machedo, though, with an excellent turn to leave Luke Young on his arse and a curled finish that gave Friedel no chance. If United do go on to win the title, it could well prove one of the pivotal moments in the race.

 

Newcastle United 0 - Chelsea 2

The scale of Alan Shearer's new temporary assignment is underlined as he sees his side outclassed by a slick Chelsea outfit. The Londoners dealt well with the St. James's Park atmosphere and were quickly into their stride, with Steve Harper forced into stops to deny Salomon Kalou, Nicolas Anelka and Florent Malouda. Chelsea finally took a deserved lead just before the hour when Frank Lampard was on hand to nod home after Anelka's effort had come back off the bar and they made the game safe nine minutes later when Lampard put in Malouda. Michael Owen did look to have pulled a goal back when Ashley Cole's clearance appeared to have been made with the ball already over the line but even that consolation was denied United when the linesman failed to give it. The title has already probably gone for the Blues, who now need to ensure they finish above fourth and a potentially tricky Champions' League qualifier. Newcastle need to start picking up points starting with next week's game at Stoke if the latest messiah is to save them from the drop.

 

West Bromwich Albion 0 - Stoke City 2

That's probably it for the Baggies, now, after going down at home to the Potters. These two sides, promoted last term, have been held up all season as examples of contrasting philosophies but Stoke notched their first away win of the current campaign playing some decent stuff and Albion, for all their ambition, still lack a consistent threat up front. It took just two minutes for Tony Pulis's side to take the lead, with Ricardo Fuller making the most of some hesitant defending to fire in a shot that evaded Scott Carson's clumsy dive. They were two up shortly after half-time; Carson getting a hand to James Beattie's ferocious left-footed drive but unable to keep it out. West Brom pushed hard to get back in the game but without any joy and a drop come the end of the season now looks inevitable. City, on the other hand, have given themselves a real chance.

 

West Ham United 2 - Sunderland 0

West Ham leave Sunderland in trouble as they continue to quietly go about the business of putting points on the board. The Black Cats started well, bossing the midfield and looking comfortable, only for the Hammers to slowly wrest control of the game as the first half progressed. The East Londoners took the lead after a marvellous flowing move just before half time ended with Luis Boa Morte playing in Junior Stanislas to open his senior account. Their tails up, United doubled their lead eight minutes into the second half when young James Tomkins rose highest to hammer a header past Craig Gordon from Mark Noble's corner and there was no way back for Sunderland. Their consolation will be that at least they're three points ahead of Newcastle ... slim consolation though that may be.