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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 31.... Week 30.... Week 29.... Week 28.... Week 27.... Week 26

Ain't No Love In The Heart Of The City

Aston Villa 3 - Everton 3

Villa come back from two goals down to retain their point advantage as these two sides fight it out for fifth. It took a quarter of an hour before the first attempt at goal but this game developed into a thriller. Marouane Fellaini continued his good recent run of scoring form when tapping home Leighton Baines's left-wing cross at the far post and Tim Cahill nodded home at the second attempt to put the visitors two up before the twenty-five minute mark. John Carew reduced the arrears when slamming home from close range just after the half-hour and the hosts subsequently enjoyed a spell of pressure. Ten minutes after the restart, though, and Everton restored their two-goal lead when Steven Pienaar curled home a terrific twenty yarder, only to see James Milner peg them back again with an arguably better effort direct from a free-kick. Five minutes after the hour, Joleon Lescott's high foot was enough for Howard Webb to award a fairly harsh penalty and Gareth Barry made no mistake from the spot to level the game. The draw leaves the fifth and sixth spots finely balanced but with neither side likely to catch the four sides above them nor get caught by the teams below, they should simply be able to enjoy the season's run in.

 

Chelsea 4 - Bolton Wanderers 3

A Bolton comeback that very nearly saw them snatch a point from being four goals down ensured a nervy last few minutes at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea took command after a bright start from the Trotters and took the lead five minutes before the break when Michael Ballack played a slick one-two with Salomon Kalou before slamming home. They doubled their lead three minutes after the restart when Ballack stepped over Frank Lampard's smart free-kick and the incoming Didier Drogba lashed it into the net. A harsh-looking penalty awarded for an unfortunate hand-ball by Gretar Steinsson allowed Lampard to add Chelsea's third and when Drogba struck from close range, the game looked over. Bolton fought back, although Andy O'Brien looked offside when collecting the ball against a strangely hesitant Petr Cech to reduce the arrears with twenty minutes to go and Cech was again at fault just four minutes later as Chris Basham poked home. When Matt Taylor nodded in with twelve minutes remaining, an unlikely comeback looked to be on the cards but, despite coming close, a fourth proved just beyond Gary Megson's side. Chelsea stay third and Bolton probably need just a couple more points to ensure safety.

 

Liverpool 4 - Blackburn Rovers 0

Liverpool thump an injury-hit Rovers to keep the pressure on the League leaders. It took just five minutes for the home side to open the scoring; Fernando Torres taking Jamie Carragher's long ball up the park on his chest before cracking an unstoppable swivelled volley over Paul Robinson from the corner of the area. The Spaniard made it two just after the hour when he headed home Xabi Alonso's free-kick from the left. With Christopher Samba struggling in his make-shift striker role, Rovers were unable to offer any threat and Liverpool were able to coast their way through most of the second half. With seven minutes remaining, Dan Agger was allowed to progress up the pitch unchallenged before unleashing a trademark thirty-yard strike and then David Ngog headed home from a couple of inches with a minute to go, after Lucas's nod back had beaten the Blackburn rear-guard. The Reds look likely to take this season's championship to the wire, whilst Blackburn will be hoping to get the two wins they need for safety as soon as possible.

 

Manchester City 1 - Fulham 3

Desperate times for Mark Hughes as he sees his City outfit dismantled at home by Fulham. The Londoners looked the better side from the start, only to see the home side take the lead against the run of play after half an hour. Stephen Ireland collected Valeri Bojinov's pass and was able to advance deep into the Fulham half before curling home past Mark Schwarzer, the ball taking a telling deflection off John Pantsil. Five minutes after the break, Fulham got the goal they deserved when Pablo Zabaleta carelessly lost possession and Clint Dempsey eventually latched onto the loose ball to drill home. Within ten minutes, the visitors had taken the lead through Dickson Etuhu's powerful effort and City never looked like getting back in the game from that moment. When Dempsey slotted home his second with seven minutes left to underline the Cottagers's dominance, he did so to a back-drop of catcalls from the City faithful and I'd suggest Hughes will need to pull something special out of the bag in the UEFA Cup to keep his job for next season.

 

Middlesborough 3 - Hull City 1

Boro give themselves the slimmest of slim chances of beating the drop in dragging Hull ever-closer to the relegation zone. A classic relegation ding-dong saw Gareth Southgate's side take the lead after only three minutes, with the impressive Tuncay Sanli tucking home after Matt Duke could only parry Alfonso Alves's effort back into play. Hull hit back and were on level terms before ten minutes were up, with Manucho thumping his header past Brad Jones from Nicky Barmby's cross. On the half-hour, Matthew Bates stabbed home from a contentiously-awarded corner to put the Teessiders back in front but they were then indebted to David Wheater for clearing off the line from Manucho. Hull's hopes of a point finally went at the death after Jeremie Aliadiere caught George Boateng in possession and put in Marlon King to wrap up the win. Every game for both these sides promises to be a Cup final from here on in.

 

Portsmouth 2 - West Bromwich Albion 2

Pompey are held at home by the bottom-of-the-table Baggies to keep them bogged down in the mix for another couple of weeks. There were plenty of chances for both sides in the pouring rain but it was Portsmouth who took the lead just after half an hour. Stand-in right-back Younes Kaboul collected Jermaine Pennant's touch back on the right touchline and headed for goal, cutting inside a pair of desperate challenges before cracking a left-footed shoot into the top far corner. Albion didn't give up and were gifted a reward just after half-time when David James confused himself and most of the crowd by interpreting a defensive nick off Gianni Zuiverloon's attempted through ball as a back pass. His embarrassing, scuffed kick went straight to James Morrison and, though the keeper stopped the midfielder's effort, he could only slap the ball straight to Jonathon Greening to level. Bouyed by the goal, Tony Mowbray's men then took the lead on the hour when Chris Brunt's free kick beat the edge of the wall to find the net, only to see the home side level through Nico Kranjcar's even better free-kick three minutes later. The point gained may yet prove invaluable for Portsmouth, though it's surely not enough to rescue Albion, who look odds-on to suffer the indignity of seeing two of their fiercest local rivals promoted past them this season.

 

Stoke City 1 - Newcastle United 1

Andy Carroll grabs temporary boss Alan Shearer's first point of the campaign to keep Newcastle in touch and prevent City reaching safety. Stoke were easily the better side throughout and took a fully deserved lead on thirty-three minutes when Abdoulaye Faye powered home a header from a corner that had been incorrectly given after Habib Beye's tackle had sent the ball into touch off Ricardo Fuller. Perhaps aggreived by the decision, Newcastle slowly got back into the game and by the last fifteen minutes were clearly in the ascendancy. It was looking as if their efforts might have been in vain but when Stoke (ironically) failed to clear a long throw with ten minutes to go, Damien Duff's return into the box was met by an excellent header from substitute Carroll and the Toon live to fight another day. The extra two points would probably have made Stoke safe but now both of these sides are still in the scrap.

 

Sunderland 1 - Manchester United 2

United continue their stumble to the tape with a narrow win at the Stadium of Light. The Mancunians took the lead after quarter of an hour when Paul Scholes's perfectly-timed late run into the box allowed him to nod Wayne Rooney's cross over the stranded Craig Gordon. The Black Cats levelled ten minutes after the break when Ben Foster mis-read the flight of Teemo Tainio's right-wing cross and Kenwyne Jones made the most of the time he had to finish at the second attempt. With three points imperative after Liverpool's early win, Alex Ferguson once again turned to the young Federico Macheda, who once again came up trumps, though the Italian didn't know an awful lot about it. Michael Carrick's wayward drive was heading for the corner flag when it struck the substitute on the right ankle and that proved enough to divert it past a despairing Gordon. The cliche has it these things go your way when you're doing well and go against you when you're not ... but cliches only become cliches because there's some truth to them.

 

Tottenham Hotspur 1  -West Ham United 0

Spurs close on a potential, if apparently unwanted, Europa Cup place in seeing off their London neighbours. The threat of relegation now nothing more than a bad dream, Tottenham are starting to look the top-half-of-the-table outfit they should be and won this shortly after the hour mark when substitute Roman Pavlyuchenko produced a slick turn and finish in the West Ham box. The Hammers more than played their part in an evenly-contested game and I'd expect to see both these sides pushing Everton and Villa for a finish in the top six next season. For now, they'll each probably look to concentrate on trying to finish above the other and Fulham in the capital's mini-League.

 

Wigan Athletic 1 - Arsenal 4

Arsenal enjoy the benefit of referee Alan Wiley's lack of cojones to post a flattering win at the JJB. Wigan more than matched their visitors for most of this game and took a deserved lead on twenty minutes when Lukasz Fabianski flapped at Ben Watson's corner and Mido acrobatically volleyed home. On the stroke of half time came the incident that probably turned the game. Antonio Valencia had sold Kieran Gibbs and was racing away toward goal when the Gunners youngster brought him down with what can only be described as a rugby tackle. Wiley's unjustifiable decision to only show yellow to Gibbs was made more painful for the Latics when Ben Watson's subsequent free-kick cannoned off the intersection. Arsenal made the most of their let-off and were level on the hour after Andrei Arshavin managed to dig the ball out from under him for the lurking Theo Walcott to spank home. Ten minutes later and Arsenal were ahead when Mikael Silvestre side-footed home Cesc Fabregas's lay-back and they never looked back. The result was given an unrepresentative slant through late goals by Alex Song and Arshavin, just to really rub the Wigan fans' noses in it, but the win will keep Arsene Wenger's side's confidence high as they look to stir up the race for the title.