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Five Spices

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." (Alan Shearer) And our Chairman Damon can never be said to be one to make unfair criticisms.

Harsh, but fair, our Chairman dispenses his trenchant, pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of Euro 2008. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the tournament unwinds.

Previous Analysis :

Week 4.... Week 3.... Week 2.... Week 1.... Round 4

All change at the top

Blackburn Rovers 1 - Fulham 0

Blackburn recovered from their maulings of the past couple of weeks with a hard-won victory over Fulham. In an evenly-contested game both sides had chances to grab the opening goal with a combination of fine saves and the woodwork denying the strikers. Six minutes before the end, the deadlock was finally broken when Roque Santa Cruz nodded Carlos Villaneuva’s deft through ball into the path of Matt Derbyshire, who made no mistake from eight yards out. It was a timely win for Blackburn to arrest their recent slide, whilst Fulham will be heartened by their performance.

 

Bolton Wanderers 1 - Arsenal 3

Arsenal saw off Bolton in some style to go top of the Premier League for the first time this season. Kevin Davies put the home side ahead after a quarter of an hour when heading home Joey O’Brien’s corner but Arsenal came straight back at them, hitting the woodwork twice before a poor offside decision allowed Emmanuel Eboue in to level on twenty-six minutes. Two minutes later and a wonderful flowing move ended with Nicklas Bendtner steering home Denilson’s cross to give the visitors the lead. Bolton started the second period with more purpose but were unable to make any of their chances tell and fell victim to the inevitable counter-attack three minutes from time when Denilson finally made the points safe.

 

Chelsea 1 - Manchester United 1

Manchester United got the draw they were after at Stamford Bridge to knock the early leaders off the top of the table. Despite lining up with containment very much in mind, the visitors made a lively start and took the lead when Petr Cech failed to hold Dimitar Berbatov’s rather lame effort, spilling the ball to the lurking Park Ji-Sung to tap the ball into the net. From that point on, Chelsea took control of the match but were unable to translate their dominance into goals until substitute Salomon Kalou rose unmarked to head the hosts level ten minutes before the end and preserve an unbeaten home record in the League that now stretches to eighty-five games.

 

Hull City 2 - Everton 2

Everton battled back from two goals down to take a point away from their visit to Hull. The hosts took the lead after eighteen minutes when Michael Turner climbed highest at the far post to loop Dean Marney’s corner back over Leon Osman on the goal-line and were able to take their lead into the interval. Three minutes after the re-start, they were two up as Phil Neville put through an own goal under pressure from Marlon King from another Marney corner. Initially frustrated in their efforts to claw themselves back into the game, Everton finally managed to pull one back on seventy-three minutes when Tim Cahill’s effort was adjudged to have crossed the line after bouncing back down off the cross-bar and were then able to pull level just five minutes later, through Osman’s close range volley. Hull have made an impressive start to life in the top flight, whilst Everton’s new-found defensive fragility will be a cause of concern to David Moyes.

 

Liverpool 0 - Stoke City 0

A battling Stoke side held out for a goal-less draw at Anfield that brought the home side back down to earth after last week’s win against the defending champions. Two minutes in and Liverpool thought they had taken the lead when Steven Gerrard’s free-kick missed everyone in the box before nestling in the far corner, only to see the goal correctly ruled out for offside as the attacking team beat the gun. The home side thoroughly dominated from beginning to end but were largely limited to long-range efforts by determined opponents and were unable to find a way through. Liverpool are unlikely to be the last side to struggle against Tony Pulis’s direct and physical outfit this term and Stoke can have realistic ambitions of beating the drop.

 

Sunderland 2 - Middlesbrough 0

The returning Michael Chopra bagged both goals as Sunderland won the Wear-Tees derby. Middlesbrough edged a goal-less first half and should have taken the lead with fifteen minutes remaining after Jeremie Aliadiere went to ground easily under Nyron Nosworthy’s challenge in the Sunderland box. Stuart Downing, having already missed one penalty this term, decided he was still the guy to take it and promptly spanged his attempt off the nose of a bespectacled old chap behind the goal in Row Z. Boro were to pay dearly for the miss just six minutes later when Keiran Richardson’s lovely through ball sent Michael Chopra away for the troubled hit-man to give the Black Cats the lead. A simple tap in from Steed Malbranque’s unselfish pass right at the death allowed the striker to double his tally and Sunderland find themselves comfortably in the top half of the table, whilst Boro continue to rue missed opportunities.

 

Tottenham Hotspur 0 - Wigan Athletic 0

Tottenham remain rooted to the foot of the table after Wigan took a creditable draw at White Hart Lane. In a, frankly, rubbish game, Spurs’ lack of fire-power after their recent sales was painfully evident, with new signing Roman Pavlyuchenko welcomed to England with a series of heavy challenges and unable to impose himself on the game before being withdrawn at half time. Wigan can be reasonably confident of picking up enough points this term to stay out of trouble. I’m not sure the same can be said of Tottenham.

 

Manchester City 6 - Portsmouth 0

An irrepressible City put a ragged Pompey to the sword in convincing fashion at Eastlands. The home side took the lead when Jo beat David James in a foot race to Robinho’s through ball and doubled their advantage when Elano’s near-post corner was fumbled by the Portsmouth keeper, allowing Richard Dunne to slam home from close range. Robinho made it three when Jo’s mis-control fell nicely for him to guide the ball inside the near post and Shaun Wright-Phillips blasted a fourth straight through the beleaguered James shortly after as the match turned into a rout. Ched Evans brought up the nap hand when driving home SWP’s neat back-heel and Gelson Fernandez converted Javier Garrido’s pass to make it a nice, round half-dozen. Portsmouth will have better days than this but City’s three-man hit squad is starting to look very, very good indeed.

 

West Bromwich Albion 1 - Aston Villa 2

Villa continued their good run at the expense of their near neighbours. John Carew headed the claret and blues in front from Ashley Young’s free-kick after twenty seven minutes and Gabby Agbonlahor doubled the visitors’ lead within ninety seconds when latching onto Leon Barnett’s mis-control before shooting across Scott Carson into the far corner. Albion don’t lay down, though, and they got back in the game just five minutes later when James Morrison was on hand to tuck away the loose ball after Brad Friedel had spilled Robert Koren’s effort. There were to be no more goals, though Carew went on to twice hit the woodwork and Luke Moore had an effort cleared off the line in his first game against his previous club in an entertaining second half, and Villa ran out worthy winners by the final whistle.

 

West Ham United 3 - Newcastle United 1

Gianfranco Zola saw his new charges get off to a winning start at the expense of an imploding Newcastle outfit. Late loan signing David di Michele proved the Hammers’ hero, starting in the place of the perennially-crocked Dean Ashton, and it was the Italian who got them on their way after just eight minutes when his deflected effort looped up off Steven Taylor and over Shay Given into the net. It was just the kind of luck Newcastle are having right now and it was no surprise when di Michele doubled the lead before the break. Played in by Mark Noble, the striker’s first effort bounced off Given’s head but dropped kindly to allow him to turn inside Taylor and finish emphatically. On fifty-three minutes, it was three, when di Michele unselfishly teed up Matt Etherington after being sent away down the right by Carlton Cole. Michael Owen pulled a goal back for Newcastle with a terrific effort from just outside the box but West Ham were able to close the game out with only the minimum of nail-biting.